Page 16 of Protecting the Boundary
I pull into the driveway, park the car, and take a breath while staring at the front door of my house.
I love coming home, but I don’t like conflict. And there’s a knot in my gut at the thought that this conversation with Meredith might get fumbled up once more, because apparently I can’t get myself straight when it comes to her.
I play through different starting lines for how to get the conversation going on the right foot. When I’ve settled on one or two strong starters and feel confident that I can walk in the door and have a conversation appropriately and calmly, I finally get out and head inside.
I close the door behind me and set my dufflebag down on the ground.
“Meredith,” I call out.
“Daddy!” Kaylee squeals from the living room, and then the pitter-patter of my sweet girl’s little feet as she comes racing toward me fills the entryway.
My lips curve into a smile that only my daughter can bring to my face as I lift her into my arms.
“Hey, Sweetie, how was your—what isthis?” I stare at my daughter’s cheek where a red, angry scratch is, and then I shoot daggers at Meredith as she walks in behind her.
Meredith’s smile falls, but I don’t have a chance to reel myself back as worry and anger consume me.
“What the hell happened?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“Daddy say bad word,” Kay says.
I clench my jaw and stare Meredith down. “Why is my daughter’s face scratched?”
Meredith stares back at me, and whatever warmth was on her face when she first saw Kaylee and me together has vanished. “We were playing hide and seek,” she says. “And Kaylee decided to hide in a bush. She got so excited when I came up behind her and yelled, ‘Surprise!’ that she dashed out and scratched her face on one of the branches.”
I turn to my daughter with my frown still on my face. “Is that what happened?” I ask her.
She nods with a big smile on her face. “It’s so fun! Play hide and seek, Daddy.”
I swallow thickly as my anger starts to fade, and with shame coursing through me, I sneak a glance at Meredith. But her gaze is locked on the ground.
Will I ever get it right with this woman?
Why do I always go to the worst-case scenario with her instead of trusting that she’s looking after my daughter and it’s an innocent mistake? It’s not like this is the first scratch Kay’s everhad before.
I open my mouth to apologize, but before any words come out, Meredith speaks. “If there’s anything else you need, I’ll be in the guesthouse. Otherwise, I’ll be back tomorrow morning for breakfast, like usual.”
She doesn’t look at me as she says it, and then without waiting for me to confirm or deny that there’s more I need from her, she waves, says good night to Kay, and then walks out the door.
Shit.
TEN
Four days and I still can’t keep up with Romel’s mood swings. He’s worse than the toddler currently helping him make unicorn pancakes for the fourth day in a row.
Focusing on the whole reason I’m here, I watch Kaylee awkwardly stir the pancake mix. Her tongue sticks out as her tiny eyebrows furrow with intense concentration. In my periphery, I catch Romel shooting glances my way. A part of me hopes he feels like an asshole for how he basically growled at me out by the pool on my first day here and makes me feel like a giant inconvenience—or worse, how I can’t seem to do anything right where his daughter’s concerned. He’s only said a few words to me each day before he leaves for practice, but every so often I catch him glancing at me like he wants to say more. And yet, he never does. Instead, he mainly only speaks to me about Kaylee’s day.
The frustration and anger simmer before it hits me that I’m feeling it so strongly. I glance at Romel who’s now helping Kay pour the batter. His voice is low and soft as he talks to her, gentle, but firm when he tells her to watch herself so shedoesn’t get burned. What is it about this man that brings up so many conflicting emotions that I haven’t felt in months?
Why, of all people, is he the man that seems to be thawing the numbness that’s been inside me since my senior yearof college? It’s infuriating and thrilling and confusing. It’s jarring to go from feeling apathetic for so long to feeling so many of the clashing emotions that he brings to life inside me.
But with the realization that he makes mefeel, I start to wonder if maybe I’m doing the same to him. It’s clear he’s got a routine with Kay, and having someone new in the house is likely throwing that routine out of whack.
Maybe he deserves a little more grace than I’ve given him. It’s only been four days, so maybe it’s time to call a truce and ask for a clean slate.
I stay relatively silent while he and Kay make breakfast, but I don’t shy away from him when he glances back at me every so often. Something passes between us each time our gazes connect, like a gentle understanding that we both haven’t been our best selves.
Kay fills the silence as we eat, talking about a story her Grammy read to her a week ago. Some of what she says isn’t quite clear—in that way that toddlers talk and you swear they’ve made up half the words they’ve used—but it’s the most I’ve heard her talk since I met her.
