Page 27 of Protecting the Boundary
We’re walking out of the aquarium and back to the car when Meredith and Kay walk ahead of me, their arms swinging dramatically in a way that makes Kaylee laugh hysterically. It brings a smile to my face, and then like being hit by a semitruck, I realize this is the first outing we’ve had where I didn’t think about Sydney. I didn’t think about what she would say to Kay or what their interaction would look like. I didn’t imagine her here with us the way I have with every other adventure we’ve taken.
My steps falter and my brain seems to be frantic to redo the whole day, but properly. I’m not supposed to leave Syd out of these adventures. She’s supposed to be part of everything we do. If I don’t at least think of her, I’m not upholding my promise to keep her memory alive.
A hand on my arm pulls me out of my inner turmoil, and Ilook at Meredith as if she’s a stranger. Her dark brows are furrowed. “Romel? Are you okay?”
I swallow thickly. What is she doing to me that she made me forget my wife for a whole outing? I pull my arm away from her and walk to the car, ignoring her calling my name again. I help Kaylee get strapped into her car seat, but I can’t look at Meredith. I can’t speak to her because I don’t know if any of the words that want to claw their way out right now would make sense to her.
They barely make sense to me.
All I know for sure is that in three years, I’ve never gone this long without thinking about Sydney, and that feels an awful lot like cheating on her, even if she’s not alive to know it.
EIGHTEEN
The night after our aquarium outing, I’m texting my friend Addy about a girls’ night she’s organizing when there’s a gentle knock on my door. A smile breaks across my face as soon as I catch sight of Kaylee standing at the door.
“Hey, KayBear.”
Her smile fills her whole face and it makes my heart soar. I love seeing this girl so happy and carefree.
“Will you come to dinner?”
My stomach does a somersault and I glance behind her at the patio door that’s open. I can’t see Romel from this angle though. He barely spoke to me after the aquarium yesterday, and I have no idea what happened, but maybe this is his way of waving a white flag.
I tuck my phone into my pocket and then take Kay’s hand. “I’d love to,” I tell her with a big smile on my face to match hers.
We walk hand in hand back to the house and enter the dining room right as Romel calls out for Kay. His voice dies as he catches sight of us and his face goes blank—not the sad look I’m used to seeing on him or the soft smiles he’s given me lately, just perfectly blank.
That’s about the same time I look at the table settings and realize there are only two plates—one for him and one of Kaylee’s princess plates.
Oh crap.
Spinning to face the sweet little girl next to me, I squat down so I’m on her level and keep my voice low. “KayBear, did you ask me to dinner without your daddy’s permission?”
“Yeah,” she says in that carefree way that toddlers have when they don’t think there would be any reason for the adult to say no to them.
Oh boy. No wonder he’s now glaring at me—I’m the interloper on his daddy-daughter time with Kaylee. Or he’s still pissed about whatever happened yesterday, although if it’s something I did, I really wish he’d talk to me about it. I feel like all the progress we’ve made just disappeared, and now I’m back to walking on eggshells around him.
“Meredith can’t have dinner with us tonight, Sweetie,” Romel says, his voice soft toward his daughter, but his eyes are still coldly looking at me.
“Why not?” she asks her dad with a pout.
If things were different between us, I would probably tease him by saying, “Yeah, why not?” But considering I don’t want to get fired and I don’t get the impression he’d find it humorous, I bite my lip to keep from smiling and stay focused on Kay.
She’s got the cutest pucker between her brows, and she’s staring at her dad like he just started speaking a foreign language for no reason and she doesn’t understand him.
Romel looks like a deer caught in the headlights, and it hits me that maybe he doesn’t have a good reason. Maybe he just doesn’t want me here, which burns after he’d included me in their weekly adventure like I was part of the team.
Maybe it was stupid of me to think we were all bonding, but it felt right being with him and Kay. There were a few momentsearly in the day where he smiled wide enough that I caught another glimpse of the slight dimple in his cheek. His brown eyes would catch mine and it would be like we were sharing a secret. All day long, I felt like I was floating, my crush taking a dangerous leap into full-on longing every time our gazes caught.
And then he’d been distracted and it wasn’t until we were walking to the car when I realized something was actually wrong. But I wasn’t about to ask him in front of Kaylee.
Romel’s jaw twitches like he’s gnashing his back teeth. “She just can’t, Kaylee.”
Kaylee blinks several times, her mouth wobbling as she picks up on the tension in the room. She looks up at me with the saddest eyes, her voice soft and weak. “You don’t wanna eat with me?”
I can’t take the heartbroken look on her face, and I immediately wrap her up in my arms and shoot daggers from my eyes at her dad. Then I focus solely on the only person in this room who matters and doesn’t infuriate and confuse me. “KayBear, I would love to eat with you, but I think your dad wants this time with you.”
She sniffles. “But what will you eat?”
