Page 41 of Protecting the Boundary
“But what if that’s not what this ends up being and then I’m setting up Kay to get hurt?”
His eyes narrow. “Kay? Or yourself?”
“Both.”
“Here’s what I know—you don’t know unless you take the risk. No risk, no reward. You could keep doing what you’ve been doing and risk being lonely for the rest of your life and having nothing once Kay is grown and out of the house. Or, you couldtake a chance, put yourself out there, and maybe you get the partner Sydney would’ve wanted you to have.”
I stare out the window as I ruminate over his words, and I hate that they ease some of the feeling that’s been swirling in my gut since I woke up.
Because it means the only mistake I made was pushing Meredith away, and now I have a lot to make up for.
TWENTY-SIX
Addy texts me while I’m hanging out with my dad and asks me to come with her for mani-pedis. I cave because I can’t just mope around my dad’s house all day, even though I’m still uncomfortable with how our last hangout went at the club.
Apparently so is she, because as soon as I get out of my car, she’s holding out a coffee cup and her face is filled with remorse. “I’msosorry about the club. I got way drunker than I planned and feel like a horrible friend because I just left you to fend for yourself with a bunch of people you didn’t know.”
I pinch my lips between my teeth and nod. “Pretty much.”
“I’m the worst friend.” Her shoulders drop. “I don’t know why I even invited them. I’ve been under so much pressure at work, and I felt like I needed to behave a certain way for them to like me, which is stupid.”
I grab her hand and give it a squeeze before releasing it. “It’s okay. You’re forgiven. Besides, it’s on me for how much I drank last night. I never should’ve had so much to begin with. Honestly, post college has been a weird phase for me too. I feel like I figured out who I was in college, and now I’ve got to figure out who I am as a fully grown adult.”
“Yes!” she says, her eyes wide with relief that I get it.
“Come on, let’s get our nails done. I haven’t done this in ages, and I deserve to be pampered today.”
We go inside and get settled in our chairs as the ladies start on our pedicures.
“So, what’s been going on with you?”
I debate telling her about Romel, but hold my tongue. I love Addy, but she’s right that we aren’t the same people we were when we met in college. We have new pressures and new social circles. I don’t know if she’d let it slip, but with Romel’s fame and how much he values his privacy, I don’t feel like risking telling her something that doesn’t even matter. He made it clear we would never be anything more than boss and employee, and I need to move on.
So instead I just tell her about the great little girl I’m nannying. She tells me all about her job and the pressures to wear the right clothes and snag the right clients. The more she talks about it, the happier I am I didn’t tell her about Romel.
After our mani-pedis, we go get lunch at one of our favorite cafés we found sophomore year of college. We’ve just ordered our croissant sandwiches when the door opens and Cameron walks in holding hands with a woman.
Addy’s eyes narrow. “Well, that was fast.”
“It’s been a few months since we broke up, so it’s not really that surprising.”
“Uh…is that a diamond ring on her left hand?”
Before I can look, Cameron catches sight of us and walks over. “Hey, Meredith, Addy. Funny running into you guys here.”
“Yeah, hilarious, since Meredith was the one who showed you this place to begin with.” I bite back a laugh at Addy’s snarky response. This is why I’m still friends with her.
He glares at Addy and then looks at me. “Meredith, this is my fiancée, Lauren.”
Addy chokes on the drink of lemon water she’d just taken. “You move on fast, Cam,” she says, her voice hoarse from her coughing fit.
Cam’s fiancée hugs his arm and stares up at him with stars in her eyes. “Well, when you know, you know, right?”
I stare at them both and then smile. “Congratulations. Genuinely.” And it really is because looking at these two, I don’t feel anything. I don’t feel sad that he moved on so quickly. I don’t even feel much of anything seeing him for the first time since we broke up.
He doesn’t stir butterflies in my stomach like someone else does. He doesn’t make my heart race or stir up any of the confusion and desire that Romel does.Even when things were good with us, Cameron didn’t stir up butterflies. Maybe that should’ve been my first hint that things would never work out with us in the long haul.
“Enjoy your meal,” I tell him with my smile still on my face. There’s no reason for us to continue a conversation, and clearly he feels the same way because he gives us a head nod and then they walk away.
