Page 59 of Protecting the Boundary
Sighing, I tell him about how I’ve been “hooking up” with Meredith, as she so eloquently put it, and then afterward going back to the main house to sleep. Kay isn’t usually alone in the house for more than thirty minutes before I’m back, and I always have the baby monitor with me when I’m with Meredith, so I’d know instantly if anything was ever wrong. Plus, I have a ton of security alerts set up so my phone would alert me if any of the exterior doors or windows opened. I’m not irresponsible, especially when it comes to my daughter’s safety.
Dom pinches the bridge of his nose. “Dude…come on, tell me you’re not this dumb.”
“I know, okay? I get it. I’m screwing this up, but I’m trying to make it better. Starting with getting a new bed.”
Dom steps closer and puts his hand on my shoulder, looking at me very similarly to how Ty did a week ago. “Only you would make the first woman you’ve had feelings for since Sydney feel like a side piece to your dead wife.”
My stomach curdles as I frown. Only Dom would ever state the truth in such a brutally honest way.
I sit heavily on the nearest mattress. “Hell, that’s exactly what I’ve done, isn’t it?”
He takes a seat next to me. “Probably. I don’t know Meredith well enough to know for sure, but I know Laney would skin me alive if I ever pulled what you have.”
“What would you do to fix it?”
“Fuck her until she couldn’t move or forgave me, whichever came last.” What’s incredible is that he says it with a straight face.
“Okay, that might be how you do things, but I’m buying a new bed and putting Sydney’s stuff into boxes for Kaylee to go through when she’s older so she can have whatever she wants.”
He stares at me like he’s not sure I’m serious. “Are you really putting Sydney’s stuff away?”
He understands how hard I’ve held on to her things. I haven’t touched our room at all; it’s exactly as she left it. I nod.
“Wow, you must really like Meredith.”
“I think I’m falling in love with her,” I confess quietly.
“Seriously?”
I nod.
“Woah, that’s huge, man.”
“I know. But now I feel like I’m letting her down already. I don’t know how to have them both. I’m not entirely ready to put everything Sydney owned in storage, but I also don’t want Meredith to think I’m not taking this relationship between us seriously. I want to move forward with her, which is huge. I never thought I’d want that again. I never thought I’d find anyone who I could feel even a smidgeon of what I felt for Sydney.”
“But you do with Meredith.”
“Yeah, I do. She’s so amazing with Kaylee and she takes careof me, not in a caretaker way, but in small ways that ease my stress and make me feel like I have a partner again. But it’s also different. Before, it was just Sydney and me. We didn’t have anyone relying on us, and we could do our own thing but also look out for each other. It’s different when you have a kid. I never got to experience that with Sydney, so maybe that’s why it feels like such a blank slate with Meredith. But I feel like I’ve gotten a second chance when I didn’t want one. Or I didn’t think I did, but now that I have her, I don’t want to lose her.”
I stare at my hands for a minute, my head a jumbled mess, then turn to Dom. “Do you think it’s possible to love two women at once?”
There’s sadness in his eyes. “I don’t know, Romel. I’d like to say yes, but I’ve only ever loved Laney, so I’m the wrong person to ask. That said, widowers move on all the time, so it’s not unheard of. Sydney doesn’t have to be your only love. I guess the real question you would need to ask is if youcanlove them both, is Meredith okay having to share your heart with Sydney?”
I need to figure out the answer to the first question before I even attempt to ask myself if Meredith is okay with me loving them both. If I can’t let go of Sydney enough to love Meredith, it won’t matter—I’ll lose her anyway.
THIRTY-EIGHT
The next day, I’m hanging out with Kaylee playing with her stuffed animals when Romel walks into her room with Larissa behind him.
“Hey, Mrs. Brooks.”
“How many times do I need to remind you to call me Larissa?” she scolds with a smile.
I return it with one of my own. “Sorry. Larissa,” I correct. Then I glance between her and Romel, who’s also smiling but looking a little shy at the same time. “What’s up?”
“I’m taking my grandbaby for a sleepover at Grammy and Papa’s house.”
“Yay!” Kaylee cheers. “I gotta get my shoes,” she says and then she’s off running into her closet for her shoes. I furrow my brow at Romel because normally he tells me if I’m going to be off duty.
