Page 44 of Campus Crush
For a second, I couldn’t breathe. The world went still. There was no wind, no traffic, no sound except my heart throwing itself against my ribs like it wanted out.
“No,” I said automatically, shaking my head. “No, you’re not. Bear is… he’s?—”
“Me,” he repeated, stepping closer. “I’m BigBear88. You’re PeachyKeen. We met on that server in January, remember? You posted a screenshot of your farm and I asked if Lewis ever paid you back.”
My knees nearly buckled. Because I remembered that.
I remembered everything.
The way Bear listened. The way he noticed the smallest things. The way he never pushed, but always seemed to know what I needed before I said it.
And now Foster was standing in front of me telling me he was the online friend that had become a lifeline for me.
“I don’t understand,” I whispered.
Logically, I did, but I couldn’t wrap my head around who I’d known as Bear and what I’d known about Foster. Maybe there were some similarities, but if someone had told me they were the same person, I would’ve sworn up and down it was impossible.
But apparently I would’ve been wrong.
“I didn’t know it was you at first,” he rushed out. “When we started tutoring, I had no idea. But then when we were supposed to meet at the café?—”
“You were there. You talked to me.”
“I did.”
He’d talked to me and then he’d left and Bear had messaged me, bailing. The betrayal that he had seen me and walked away cut deep, and it took everything in me toswallow down the painful emotions bubbling up into my throat. Tears burned behind my eyes, but I blinked them away.
“Why didn’t you tell me then?” My voice was choked, but I needed to know the truth.
“I should’ve. I almost did. But I was scared you’d think it was all some trick or that I was messing with you.”
I crossed my arms, a fresh wave of emotion crashing into me before I could brace for it. “You mean like a guy who made me feel safe just so he could pull the rug out from under me?”
His jaw tensed. “Yeah. Like that. But that’s not what this is. I swear.”
I stared at the diorama, my vision swimming. I could see the details in every part of it. The orchard I built in spring. The coop where I said I wanted to name all my chickens after historical women. The pond I told him I wished I had in real life, just so I could sit beside it and think.
It might’ve been messy, but I couldn’t deny that he’d captured it well.
He took a step toward me, and I hated that I was torn between wanting him even closer and pushing him away. “I didn’t mean to lie, and I swear to you, I didn’t keep it from you to mess with your head. I kept it because…I didn’t want to lose you. Not as Bear. Not as me. Abby, you have no idea how much you mean to me. Sometimes you’re the only bright spot in my day. But I knew how you felt about me, especially after you told me about what happened freshman year. I was sure that if you knew who Bear was before you’d gotten to know the real me, that I’d lose you. I couldn’t risk that.”
Tears threatened, but I blinked them back again. Iwasn’t ready to give in to the part of me that wanted to believe him.
This was too much to grasp.
“I need some time,” I whispered, my voice hoarse.
Foster’s shoulders hunched, even as he nodded. “I’ll drive you home.”
TWENTY-FIVE
Coach Maxwell blew the whistle, and we all skated to center ice, our breath fogging in the crisp air of the rink. The guy wasn’t much older than we were—late twenties—but he had an air about him that demanded respect. He crossed his arms over his chest, watching us with a keen eye, then his stern expression broke into a grin.
“Alright, guys,” he called out. “Time to see if you actually belong on this team or if I’ve inherited a bunch of?—”
“Hold up, Coach,” Liam interrupted, twirling his stick in his gloved hand with a flourish. “Before you go insulting Gordy’s summer training regimen, I think we should have a moment of silence for his dreams of interpretive dance on ice.”
Gordy sighed dramatically and shook his head, but he was too reserved to take Liam’s bait.
