Page 52 of Campus Crush
The purple Discord icon was taunting me, but I fought the urge to open it. Instead I closed my laptop and stared unseeingly at the TV in front of me.
For nearly two years, I’d made Foster the villain in my mind for what happened that night freshman year. And then I’d gotten to know him this summer, and my whole view had shifted.
But then he’d dropped the truth bomb on me that he was Bear, and now I was more confused than ever. More than that, I couldn’t let go of the hurt and betrayal I felt knowing that he’d known it was me for weeks before he told me.
I avoided Discord andStardew Valleylike the plague.
I focused on the start of fall semester.
I dove headfirst into volunteering for any extra work Holt & Associates wanted to give me as an intern.
But nothing cleared my head. Nothing helped me make sense of the conflicting emotions swirling inside me. I felt like I should be furious at Foster for the secret he’d kept, especially once he found out the truth.
Except…
The longer I thought about it, the more I realized he was probably right. I would’ve pushed him—and subsequently Bear—away. I’d still kept Foster at arm’s length at that point.
I remembered quite vividly running into him at the coffee shop and the panic that ensued when he walked up to my table. There was no way I would’ve embraced the idea that he was Bear.
I could admit my flaws, but figuring out how to bridge the gap that I’d put between us was a lot harder. The more time that passed, the harder it was to figure out what to say to finally break the ice.
“You seem lost in your thoughts,” Sam said from her spot on the couch beside me where she’d been scrolling on her phone while some new reality show played on our TV.
I picked at my thumbnail. “I think you were right.”
She cupped her hand around her ear and leaned toward me, her brow arched. “I’m sorry, say that again.”
I whacked her with the throw pillow before bringing it back and hugging it to my chest. “I think you were right about that night with Foster. I blew it out of proportion—made it a bigger deal than it was.”
She placed her hand on my knee. “Abby, you went through a lot in a very short amount of time. Frankly, I don’t blame you for feeling how you felt. It was the first time you really put yourself out there for a guy, and it ended up being a big letdown. Anyone in your shoes would have been disappointed.”
I swallowed hard but nodded.
“But also,” she added, giving my knee a squeeze, “can I just say for the record—falling asleep whilemaking out doesn’t makeyoua bad kisser. It makeshimbad at pacing his drinks.”
A reluctant laugh escaped.
Her expression turned thoughtful. “What brought on this change in thought?”
I hugged the pillow tighter and finally confessed the truth about Bear being Foster. By the time I was done, Sam’s jaw was on the floor.
“You’re shitting me?”
“I wish I weren’t.”
“Are you being serious right now? This is amazing news!”
I frowned in confusion. “How do you figure?”
She set her phone aside and twisted her body to face me. “Because now you don’t have to choose between two guys. You get the best of both because they’re one and the same.”
I’d been so focused on the betrayal, I hadn’t even thought of it like that.
“Come on, it’s clear you need to get out of your head. Let’s take a break. I hear they’re having a poetry jam at The Grindhouse. Let’s go check it out.”
Normally, I would’ve said no or made some lame excuse, but she was right. I needed to clear my head, and maybe doing something different for a change would give me the clarity I was searching for.
We were almost to the SUB when Sam grabbed my arm and gave it a small squeeze.
