Page 10 of Keeper of Hearts
I inhale a sharp breath, fighting back tears. "It's fine. I'm fine."
"You never were a very good liar, you know." She runs her fingers through my hair, chuckling quietly. "You're just like your dad."
"He is a terrible liar." I smile despite myself. Honestly, neither of my parents is very good at lying. They just look guilty anytime they try. It's exactly how I figured out Santa wasn't real when I was five. I didn't have the heart to tell them that they gave it away, so I kept up the farce for another two years before they realized I already knew the truth.
"Yeah, he is." Mom pauses. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"
"No," I whisper. "I want to forget the whole stupid thing."
She runs her fingers through my hair again. "I'll tell him that you're already asleep, but you can't avoid him forever, sweetheart. You'll have to talk to him sooner or later."
"I know," I sigh heavily. "Just…not right now."
I'm not ready to pretend that everything is fine between us when my heart feels like it's in tiny pieces. I want time to be mad at him first. And I need time to be sad, too. I can't really tell him either of those things, though. Not when he doesn't even know that he broke my heart today. And it's not really his fault. He's allowed to love whoever he wants to love. I just…feel stupid for thinking that maybe it could be me.
"Take the time you need." My mom kisses me on top of the head. "I love you."
"I love you too."
She hugs me again and then strides across the room, lingering in the doorway for a minute like she wants to say something. Eventually, she simply sighs quietly and then slips out, closing my door behind her.
I toss my notebook onto the floor and curl up in a miserable little ball, biting my lip to keep from crying. I've done enough of that today. But after a minute, I can't resist reaching for my phone to check my messages, curious what he wants so freaking badly.
Gage: Why didn't you wait for me after school, butterfly?
Gage: Troian?
Gage: Are you ignoring me?
Gage: TROIAN ELIZABETH!
Gage: Okay, so you are ignoring me.
Gage: Life is boring without talking to you, butterfly.
Gage: I'm sorry I'm an asshole.
Gage: I mean that. I'm sorry I'm an asshole.
Gage: You don't have to talk to me, but I hope you know that I miss you already. I'm miserable without you. Every single time you aren't here, my life feels less full.
My heart skips a beat when I read that message, sent over an hour ago. And that's why he's so darn dangerous. He says the sweetest things sometimes. But…I don't think he means them the way I hear them.
If he did, he wouldn't be taking someone else to Prom. He wouldn't keep secrets from me the way he does. He's always been my very first consideration. I'm not sure I'm actually a consideration at all to him unless he's bored.
Gage: Are you still ignoring me?
Gage: Guess so. :(
At least he catches on quick. He's always been crazy smart. Just…clueless. Maybe it's a failing of all guys our age. They're all oblivous idiots.
The phone vibrates with an incoming message as I'm skimming back over the influx he sent me this evening.
Gage: Did you know that most people fall asleep in seven minutes? Not me. I spend at least an hour thinking about you before I go to sleep…your beautiful face, your smile, the sound of your laughter, the way you say my name, and the way you glow when you'rehappy. That hour is the best part of every single night for me because it's almost like you're right here in this bed with me.
Gage: Sweet dreams, baby.
"What the heck?" I mumble, practically dropping the phone as I read through the message. My heart slams against my ribcage, hope shooting through me. I quickly tamp it back down, trying to be logical.
