Page 93 of Wrapped Up in Christmas Hope
“What was that?” he asked.
“Tradition,” she answered, pointing to above the doorway where Grammy had hung mistletoe.
He nodded. “Thanks. I wouldn’t want seven years of bad Christmases or whatever it was that Sophie said would happen.”
“Andrew,” she ventured, feeling that she had to know and fearing that if she didn’t ask it would always haunt her. “If you weren’t leaving, what would happen? With us, I mean?”
His gaze locked with hers, he took a deep breath, then said, “I’d ask you to spend all your Christmases with me.”
Morgan’s heart raced. “Why?”
He opened his palm and glanced down at the engraved stone he still held there. “Because you are loved, too.”
Eyes watering and heart burgeoning with hope, Morgan swallowed. “Ask me to go with you.”
He flinched as if her words had struck him. “I can’t do that. You and Greyson are happy in Pine Hill. Your family lives here. I could never ask you to go with me and give that up.”
“Because you love me?” she pushed.
His gaze held hers. “With all my heart.”
Joy filled her.
“You and Greyson have already suffered tragedy once,” he said. “I’d never risk putting you through that again. It’s better this way. Being a smokejumper is one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. Forget me, Morgan.”
She wasn’t letting him go so easily. Not when so much hope had sprung to life. “Will you forget me?”
“Never.”
“Then you’ll understand when I say that I won’t be able to forget you, either. You’re in my heart.” She paused, then corrected herself. “You are my heart, Andrew. You and Greyson. I love you both so much.”
“Morgan, you’re not making this easy. I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“Then take us with you.”
He studied her. “You’d do that? Move Greyson to California to live near a wildland firefighting base just to be with me?”
She nodded.
“I love you,” he said. “You know I do. I think I have from the moment I spotted you in Greyson’s classroom that day. But, Morgan, I can’t wrap my head around putting you through the pain of being with me, of never knowing where I’ll be sent next or when I’ll be home.” He paused, closed his eyes and added, “Or even if I’ll be home. It would be in yours and Greyson’s best interest if you forget about me. Forget and fall in love with someone else.”
“Love doesn’t work that way,” she repeated. “Besides, do you really believe things will be any easier for me if I’m here? I can assure you that they won’t. Something I’ve learned is that life is short, Andrew, and none of us are promised tomorrow. I loved Trey and I lost him. But I loved, Andrew. I wouldn’t change that even if it meant taking away the pain of losing him. I wouldn’t change loving you, either.”
His throat working, he studied her. “You’re sure? Sure that you understand what you’re saying? Sure what you would be getting yourself into? Sure you want that life? Because it’s not an easy one.”
“Will accepting that life mean that in exchange for all the worries, I get your heart?”
“You already have my heart, Morgan.”
“Then I’m sure.”
Andrew searched her gaze for the longest time, not looking quite as if he believed she’d really go with him. “I’ll be back after I finish my training. If you still feel the same, if you’re sure you want the life of being hitched to a smokejumper, I’ll bring you and Greyson to California with me. If not, I’ll understand.”
Morgan blinked up at him. “Are you asking me to marry you?”
“You think either of our grandmas would be okay with our moving in with each other without my putting a ring on your finger?”
“I don’t want you to marry me because of our grandmas.”
