Page 72 of Wrapped Up in Christmas Hope
“I’m going to be a Hotshot, and eventually a smokejumper, Morgan. It’s what I’ve dreamed of doing for a long time, what I’ve been preparing myself for over the past few years, getting my wildland qualifications.”
“This is why you skydive? Because you want to jump out of planes where forests are on fire?” she asked, her pitch heightening as understanding dawned. “What if your parachute catches fire?”
“I’ll have a back-up parachute on me. All smokejumpers do.”
“It’s still dangerous.”
He nodded. “It is, but wildland fires cause so much damage, Morgan. They have the potential to consume entire towns if they’re not gotten under control. Do you realize how many lives I can possibly save by doing this?”
“Andrew, please no. I...” her voice trailed off and she flinched. “I don’t think I can handle you doing this.”
“I’m not asking you to.” The urge to take her into his arms hit so strong it was all he could do to hold himself back. Instead, he did his best to mask how much it ripped into him that he was causing her pain.
“I know you’re not, I just...I don’t want you to go.”
“I know—I always knew. This is why I had my rules: no serious relationships, no single moms. Because I knew this was where I was headed, and I never wanted to hurt anyone with it. I couldn’t seem to stay away from you—but that’s because I’m a heel. I knew you were a forever kind of girl and that I wasn’t a forever kind of guy.”
“So you’re really going,” she said, her tone too flat to be a question.
He couldn’t stop himself from trying to explain, wanting her to understand. “Being a smokejumper is something I need to do, not just for me but for those I might save by doing so. I want to make a difference, to save lives, because this is who I am. But knowing that, I should have stayed away from you and Greyson. I realize that now. Forgive me that I didn’t.”
And with that, he left because he couldn’t bear the anguish shining in her tear-filled green eyes a moment longer.
Especially when he knew he was the cause.
“Sophie keeps asking me about you.”
Gripping his game controller tighter, Andrew glanced over at where Cole was stretched out working on a crossword puzzle. The fire hall had been slow that night. They’d worked a motor vehicle accident earlier in the day, but otherwise they hadn’t had any calls come in. “She finally looking to upgrade?”
The look Cole gave him was meant to slay.
“As if you’d be considered an upgrade,” Ben pointed out from where he sat next to Andrew. “You can’t even be relied upon to help me save the world from these aliens.”
There was that.
“She is worried about Morgan,” Cole added, messing further with Andrew’s concentration.
“Is something wrong with her?” he couldn’t help asking. He’d thought of her and Greyson so much since the Quilts of Valor presentation. How shattered she’d looked when she’d finally understood that he was leaving would haunt him all his days.
“According to Sophie, you’re what’s wrong. Sophie wants to know what happened. I keep telling her it’s not our place to ask, that if you and Morgan wanted us to know, you’d tell us.”
“True that,” Andrew agreed. He didn’t want to be what was wrong with Morgan, but he was certain that it was much better for him to back away now than to risk growing even closer between now and the time he left for training camp.
“But,” Cole continued, “she wouldn’t let up until I promised I’d ask. You know how Sophie is when she gets something on her mind. The woman is persistent.”
Andrew returned his gaze to his game. “I’m leaving in January. That’s all that needs to be said.”
His buddies had been happy for him when he’d told them his plans. He’d miss them and suspected the same was true for them, but they could tell he had a real passion for what he was going to do.
“You’ll be back to visit after your training is complete,” Ben pointed out.
“Eventually, since my family lives here.”
“Family?” Ben asked. “Who do you think you’re fooling? You’d miss me too much to stay gone too long.”
“Sign up and go with me.”
“Me?” Ben shook his head. “I love what I’m doing right here. Smokejumper is your dream, Wilderness Boy, not mine. I’d say ask your buddy there, but there isn’t any way you’d talk him into leaving Sophie to go save Bambi and some trees.”
