Page 155 of Divorced from Number Thirty-Eight
Settling me.
Because I know it’s not a fantasy.
I know it’s not a dream.
I know it’s just him.
And I’m so not letting him go.
Forty-Nine
Gray
“How are you here?” she whispers.
My lungs are still working hard and though my cock is extremely happy—extremely—that wasn’t exactly how I imagined my apology tour to go.
I expected groveling.
A lot of groveling.
Not an orgasm that threatened to tear me in two.
“Fuck, Red,” I murmur, smoothing back her hair and settling my forehead against hers. “I’m so damned sorry. I was triggered and didn’t stop to think. I promised you—I fucking promised I wouldn’t hurt you again and then I panicked and did the same shit. I know that you can’t possibly believe me, but I’m going to make sure it doesn’t happen again. I’ve already gotten a referral for a therapist. I’m going to figure out this crap in my head out so it never affects you again.”
Her expression…I hate that I can’t read it.
“The interview…” she says long moments later. “Why did really you do it?”
I straighten, cup her jaw. “Baby, I fucked up.”
“Yes, you did.” That has surprised laughter bubbling up in my chest, but she keeps talking before I can. “But you didn’t have to do that. I know you hate?—”
“I love you more than any headline.”
She sucks in a breath.
“I’m done running scared, baby. You’re the most important thing in my world and I don’t care who knows it.”
“But Courtney?—”
“Isn’t you.” I capture her hand, press it to my chest. “You’re my heart, Red. I love you and they can make a million videos about us and I won’t care so long as you’re here.”
Her lips tremble. “I should have?—”
“None is this your fault,” I say firmly.
“But I didn’t fight for us.”
“Neither did I,” I point out. “We hit a speed bump and I took off.”
“Because you have trauma. But I don’t have that excuse and I still didn’t call or text.” She scowls. “I just spent a week being miserable and sad and pathetic.”
“I hate that you were sad,” I murmur, brushing my lips over her forehead. “But you did text, baby. It’s what finally made me get my head out of my ass.”
She frowns. “Um…”
“And it helped me realize how much of an idiot I was being. The thought of losing you forever, of you not being next door—” I cup her face in both of my hands. “It snapped me out of my shit. I can’t lose you, Faye.” My voice breaks. “I won’t lose you.”
