Page 136 of Divorced from Number Thirty-Eight
I love Gray, but I can’t make him see me, want me, keep me.
If nothing else, this time with him has taught me that, and as much as it hurts me, as big as my feelings are…maybe he and I have reached our expiration date.
Maybe I can’t be the woman he needs.
Maybe he can’t be the man I need.
Maybe extreme circumstances brought us together and I got this beautiful gift of spending time with him, of love I’ve only dreamed about, of memories I’ll hold tight to right next to those of Nana and my parents…
And maybe that’s all I’ll ever have.
Because…I begged.
And he still walked away.
My chest hitches, a sob in my throat, and I stand there in his beautiful kitchen, memories all around me, the faint scent of banana bread in the air…and hopelessness in my veins.
“Talking a big game, Faye,” I whisper.
Because if he walked in through the door right now I would throw my arms around him and tell him how much I love him.
If he called, I’d pick up the phone and beg him to reconsider.
As though fate is laughing at me, my phone buzzes on the counter and I launch myself toward it.
Only, when I see the name on the display my heart sinks.
Because it’s not Gray.
LUNA: The internet has lost its mind. Are you okay?
Disappointment.
But also…wanting to soak up as much time with Luna as possible.
Because who knows how much more of it I’ll have.
When she finds out Gray and I are…
Well, I should just take what I can for the time I have it.
So, with shaking fingers and tears in my throat…I text her back.
“Come and sit with me,” Luna murmurs as we walk into her house.
The warmth of the sunshine flowing in through the windows eases some of the chill inside me as I follow her into the library and sink down onto the chair next to hers.
There’s a box on the coffee table and when she notices me looking at it, she pushes it toward me, her lips twitching when I open the lid and see some of the delicious goodies she had at her baby shower. “Don’t worry,” she says. “They’re fresh. Aiden picked them up this morning before he left for the road trip.”
The road trip.
With the Grizzlies.
And Gray.
Throat tight, I avoid the slice of banana bread and instead select a cinnamon roll. “That was nice of him.”
“Therapeutic carbs,” she says with a small smile. “To keep me company while he’s gone.”
