Page 54 of Twisted Pact
Does that change anything?
I didn’t know.
My phone sits on the nightstand. I could call Anna, tell her about Papa’s visit, and get her perspective on this mess.
I know she’d tell me that men like Alexei don’t change, and that I need to protect myself.
All things I’ve been telling myself for days now.
I push myself up and head to the bathroom again. My reflection hasn’t improved. If anything, I look worse.
Maybe all the stress of the past few weeks is finally catching up with me.
I splash more water on my face and ignore the nausea. I try to focus on anything except Papa’s suggestion that my relationship with Alexei is essential to our survival.
The responsibility of it is crushing. Everything depends on maintaining an undefined relationship with a man who can’t decide if he wants to protect me or control me.
A knock on the door makes me groan. If that’s Papa again, I’m going to scream.
But when I open it, one of Alexei’s guards is standing in the hallway, holding a tray.
“Breakfast, Miss. Mr. Kozlov wanted to make sure you ate.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“He was very specific about you needing to eat regularly. I’m supposed to wait and make sure you at least try something.”
Great. Even from across the city, Alexei’s controlling what I do.
I take the tray and set it on the desk. Toast. Eggs. Fruit. Orange juice. All things that should smell appealing, but instead make my stomach revolt.
The guard watches from the doorway while I force myself to take a bite of toast. It tastes like cardboard, but I chew and swallow anyway.
“Satisfied?” I ask.
“Mr. Kozlov will be pleased you’re eating.”
“Mr. Kozlov can mind his own business.”
The guard’s mouth twitches as he tries not to smile. “I’ll relay your message.”
He leaves, and I’m alone with breakfast I can’t stomach and thoughts I can’t organize.
I manage another bite of toast before I give up, push the tray away, and curl up on the bed. I’m exhausted.
I know this isn’t normal. The fatigue. The nausea. The way food makes me want to gag.
But acknowledging it means facing possibilities I’m not ready to consider.
So, I just close my eyes and try to shut off my brain long enough to get some sleep.
Papa’s words keep circling through my head, though.Your relationship with him has become essential to our survival.
I never wanted to be the thing standing between my family and destruction. Never wanted my personal feelings to have strategic implications that could affect everyone I love.
But here I am. Trapped in a countryside estate with guards outside my door. Waiting for a man who makes me feel things I shouldn’t to decide it’s safe enough to come back.
Waiting to figure out if what we have is real or just another manipulation in a world built on lies.
