Page 53 of To Bring You Back
He lowered his face as if the weight of a headstone had been loaded onto his shoulders. “I’m only here for the summer. The worst thing would be having to leave you still broken.” As if to block her from stopping him with more conversation, he pulled on the helmet and walked off. A minute later, the growl of his motorcycle hammered against the tombs as he pulled out.
Broken. He thought her broken.
Her mom did too or she wouldn’t have been trying to talk her out of this visit.
Tegan did, or she wouldn’t be trying to get her to apply for a new job.
Adeline studied Fitz’s name, engraved in granite. They were all correct. She was broken.
Gannon wasn’t letting the past define him. The idea of that freedom was intoxicating, especially now that she’d seen him here, seen that he wasn’t denying the cost of his sin, wasn’t immune to regret.
Also, he’d shielded her from trouble last night. He’d been so attentive in helping her off the ladder, had hidden her under the helmet, and had paid hundreds to ensure she would be safe on the bike.
There was something to him, to his belief that, though she was broken, she was worth protecting and making whole again. The longing returned, squeezing so hard, breathing took effort. She wanted that wholeness, and it seemed the closer she got to Gannon, the more possible it became.
What would bethe worst thing?
Prior to Adeline’s question, Gannon had put no thought into what he’d most hate to experience, but as soon as she asked, the answer had flashed through his mind, and now that he’d seen the truth, he couldn’t erase the realization.
Having to leave you.
He’d almost stopped there, almost hadn’t added those last couple of words. He’d rented Havenridge indefinitely. He’d bided his time, letting days slip between conversations with Adeline, but when she’d asked that question, he saw how much time he’d wasted.
He couldn’t stay indefinitely. He had commitments that required he return to LA at the end of summer. What business did he have trying to ignite her old feelings for him? He’d still leave, and then what? They lived separate lives.
He hadn’t come to Lakeshore to win her over—that was a goal he’d added when he’d seen her. Maybe it was for the best that she wasn’t interested. If a relationship didn’t work out, the disappointment would be on his end, and he’d shouldered that pain before. Like the possibility of seeing their past splashed across the front page, he didn’t relish the idea, but survival would necessitate he cope again.
So, he’d added the “still broken.”
Having to leave you still broken.
She’d suffer until she found healing—something the last nine years had proved she wouldn’t find on her own. The clock had been ticking for weeks already, and though Adeline was finally softening, true healing took more time than he had.
The inevitability of the worst happening dropped even more heaviness over him than seeing Fitz’s grave had. It pulled at him all the way back to his mom’s house, lingered in the back of his mind as they visited and eventually said goodbye, and he dragged it with him when he went to the Greens’ house to collect Adeline.
The sky was overcast, but the cloud cover was thin enough to glow in the general direction of the sun. In her new pants and jacket, Adeline stood with her mom at the side of the house. Mrs. Green clipped gigantic collections of blue flowers off a thigh-high bush, but Adeline smiled his direction.
He got off the bike and hooked his helmet on the handlebars as his phone went off. For most people he wouldn’t have answered, but John’s name showed on the display.
“What’s up?”
“Matt hit Tim’s rental in the garage last night.”
“Fantastic.” Gannon turned away from Adeline. She already had enough to not like about him without knowing about the drama within the band. “Is he all right?”
“Yeah. He was as surprised as the rest of us this morning.”
“I assume Tim’s working it out?”
“The things Tim can do are too little, too late. I’m not sure keeping Matt on is helping him.”
So John was back to the idea of firing Matt.
Adeline would be uncomfortable around Matt, and she’d hate getting caught anywhere near the bad press his behavior could lead to. But what would she think if Gannon fired someone? They’d just come from Fitz’s grave.
“We can talk when I get back.” He disconnected and pivoted back toward the house.
The front door opened. Adeline’s dad emerged, and her mom rushed inside with the flowers. A happy family scene.
