Page 74 of To Believe In You
He hated failing at something as basic as showing up for work. Hated feeling like he’d fallen short and had to scramble to catch back up. “You got it.”
“Okay.” Russ’s voice lifted, apparently easily reassured. “See you tomorrow.”
He disconnected and accepted a mug from Jade. Her pour had left something to be desired, but the drips on the outside of the mug could evaporate. He took a long drink to counteract the lost sleep.
Now all he needed was a way to undo all the rest of it.
Or something stronger to drink.
Probably ought to call his sponsor.
Definitelyought to.
“You’ll stay for a little while?” Krissy patted her daughter’s head when the girl delivered a mug.
“Through lunch. Then I have to get back.” For better or for worse, he wanted to be near Lina. He’d missed her call yesterday and hadn’t reached out because he didn’t know what to tell her about Nadia. Hopefully, in the bustle of students, she wouldn’t have time to question him.
“I saw the picture of you leaving Gannon’s wedding.”
He downed the rest of the coffee and set the mug on the counter. “And?”
She licked her lips, scanning the room like she hoped to find a script printed on the backsplash. “You’ve got a lot going on.”
Jade trotted up, slid his mug off the counter, peeked inside, and mounted the stool to refill his cup.
“You’ve got her trained.”
“Mama likes her coffee.” Krissy shot him a furtive glance. “But Matt … there’s a rumor you’re getting involved with Awestruck again.”
One of the few bright spots in his life right now, the hope of a second chance.Ifhe could talk them into overlooking the wedding fiasco.
Krissy moved closer and tapped a fake nail on the counter. “I’m disappointed there’s so much you didn’t tell me yourself. For years, I got my only news about you through the tabloids, and it feels like it’s come back to that.”
“I’m not interesting enough for the tabloids anymore.” A lame excuse, but she ought to give him credit for coming here with news of what Tim had confessed. He’d told no one but her.
She lifted a carefully penciled eyebrow. “You and Lina are getting close, aren’t you?”
“They wrote about us?”
“They didn’t have to. You fought with her ex after you said you weren’t going to get in the middle.”
“He was hurting her.”
“And who are you hurting?”
Judging by the sadness in her voice, he had hurt Krissy. He should’ve had the same discussion with her that he’d had with Lina to explain his choice to try Awestruck again. But did he really need to keep his sister posted about Lina?
If he subjected their relationship to too much scrutiny, the impossibility of it would become undeniable. Lina had it all together. Always had. Matt was a train wreck. Always had been. He was hurting Krissy, and he would hurt Lina and would probably disappoint Awestruck, too, since failure seemed to be his MO.
“You, Matt. You’re hurting yourself. With the news you learned yesterday, Lina and her ex, all these jobs, Awestruck, living away from your support network … I’m afraid it’s too much all at once. You need to simplify before you get overwhelmed.”
Simplifying sounded as undoable as hurrying back to Lakeshore for a shift at the home improvement store. He couldn’t force quick solutions. The complications would have to work themselves out—and they would, because the items on Krissy’s list were at odds with each other. He might lose Lina over the news he’d learned yesterday. If Awestruck worked out, he could quit the part-time jobs and would gain a stronger support network. If the band didn’t take him back, Awestruck would be gone. As for Nadia and the baby, much remained to be seen there. Had she had the baby? What should his role be? Would she give him a choice?
All the challenges and opportunities would battle it out, and he’d be left with whatever remained. He just had to hang on to his sobriety long enough to see what the outcome would be.
* * *
Chris had chosenthe perfect day to be late. Lina offered Matt a smile of greeting as he rounded her desk to enter the office area.
