Page 117 of To Belong Together
“With a house-sized secret. Can you see how that would break trust?”
“How could I have told you about it in a way that wouldn’t? I mentioned my dad so you’d help me look, but you immediately spent all kinds of money trying to find him, and I’m grateful. So grateful.” Her voice cracked. “But I couldn’t risk you thinking I expected the same with the house.”
He seemed to consider that a moment before shaking his head, flinching. “Nicole skipped out on jobs and blew through the money she did make, all the while claiming to be debt-free. By the time I called her on the lies, her cards were maxed out, and she expected me to foot the bill.”
The situation had been worse than Erin had realized. But it was also the opposite of what she’d done. “I don’t want you to foot the bill, and I didn’t lie.”
“But you also weren’t open with me.”
She remembered perfectly the moment in his car, on the way to shop for a new vehicle, when she’d first thought to tell him about the foreclosure. And again, on the trail after she’d listed her house. “I thought it would make you doubt my motives, so I kept you out of it. I have it under control. I’m selling my house. I already have an offer.”
“Offers fall through.”
She chewed her lip. It wouldn’t, would it?
“How much?” John asked.
“To catch her up?”
He nodded.
The sum would seem paltry to him.
He probably made more in a single day while she’d work for months to earn it.
She choked it out.
He clenched his jaw. “Is there anything else you’re not telling me?”
The overhead light flicked off automatically. The motion detector wasn’t very sensitive and probably wouldn’t register them again until they walked out. The windows behind him provided the only light, probably giving John a better view of her than she had of him.
Good. He had to see how much she meant this next part.
“No. That was it. No other secrets.”
“So you didn’t use your association with me to get a raise at work.” His voice was almost unrecognizably cool.
She’d been so desperate over the foreclosure, she’d forgotten. She pressed a hand over her stomach, but the pressure didn’t subdue the nausea. Uncle Nick agreed to the raise for other reasons, but she had tried to do exactly what John said. And now, because he’d asked her to tell her other secrets and she hadn’t come clean, she appeared to be a liar.
“I’m so sorry.” Her throat jammed with excuses and explanations she knew wouldn’t help.
More accustomed to the dim light, she noted his expression mirrored the one he’d had when she’d arrived at the reception. The sorrow and disappointment weighing on his features pulled at her deepest instincts to comfort and help.
She never had learned what upset him that night. Hadn’t stayed around long enough.
But even if she had lingered, would he have told her?
Because he remained silent now as he pivoted away, rubbing his face.
“I’m sorry. I promise this isn’t about money to me.”
He tilted his face toward the ceiling, breathing as hard as she was.
Silent—still.
Again.
Always.
