Page 130 of To Belong Together
Gannon sighed and lost the teasing tone. “Did you ever ask her why she took off from the reception without giving you a heads up?”
John lifted his lids far enough to focus on a shadowy corner of the room. “When I asked, she downplayed the time we’d spent together. Asked questions about other women like she thought I was playing games.”
“Did it make sense to you that she believed you weren’t serious?”
“No.” He’d been more invested in Erin than he’d ever been with Nicole. “When we talked last, she said I belong with the person I can talk to. But she was that person. I’d even told her the story about my dad.”
“And you didn’t want to be manipulated for money, but then you went and paid the mortgage.”
“Against my better judgment.”
“What if it’s the opposite? What if your better judgment told you to be generous with her?”
Impossible. She had too many marks against her.
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
As the phrase from the Lord’s Prayer echoed in his mind, he winced.
“Given that gift, she’s probably as confused as you are right now. You didn’t give your sisters extra when you fell out with them, and you didn’t bail Nicole out of debt. So why did you help Erin?”
“Nicole’s debt was a thousand times more and for foolish expenses.”
“I don’t think those are the only differences. Nicoleexpectedyou to cover it, and Erin didn’t. And you might not’ve agreed with Nicole’s actions and motivations, but you understood them. With Erin, you’ve still got gaping holes. I think you gave her grace because, deep down, you know there’s more going on, and you’re afraid to face it. So instead, you’re overreacting.”
Now that was just insulting, and a flash of anger blazed against Gannon.
Except that fury was definitely an overreaction. Could it be John had blown things out of proportion with Erin too?
He shook his head, which made his skull pound.
Undaunted, Gannon’s hazel eyes narrowed on him. “What are you so afraid of?”
“She used me to get a raise. She kept secrets.”
“She hurt you.”
Was it that simple? Maybe. “She did. And she will again.”
“Yes, she will.”
Forever the showman. John didn’t grant Gannon the satisfaction of letting his surprise register on his face.
Gannon didn’t seem daunted by the lack of reaction. “Just like I have and your sisters and Tim and everyone else who’s close to you. At some point, we all hurt the people we love most in the world. And yeah, sometimes we have to step away when the relationship’s too unhealthy, but I don’t think that’s what’s happening here.”
John waited, half miserable, half curious.
“Look, you’re right that a relationship based on your money would be headed for trouble, but even you can’t separate your resources from your relationship. You invested in finding her dad in ways you wouldn’t have been able to if not for your fame and money.”
“It was to save a life.”
“And you’ll never regret that. But it’s proof that money and famearefactors in a relationship with you—both in good ways and in bad ones. Whoever’s with you is going to have to put up with a ton of travel, tabloids, fans.” Gannon shrugged as if the list could go on, then redirected. “From what I’ve seen, there are things about Erin that benefit you. She draws you out of your shell but also seems to be looking out for you. She makes you want to risk your heart. What ifthat’syour better judgment? But your fear keeps telling you to not give her a chance because you’re afraid it might work out.”
John scoffed. “You think I’m afraid of being happy?”
“Yeah, because I think you’re afraid it won’t last. If you work things out with Erin and let the relationship develop—maybe get married, have some kids, whatever—she’ll have more power over you than anyone ever has. And if she rejects you at that point, it’ll hurt like nothing else, which is saying something, because you’ve experienced some pretty bad relationships. You’re rejecting a woman you’re clearly crazy about so she’ll never have the chance to hurt you like that.”
All John’s arguments fizzled. Sam’s suggestion that Erin might one day divorce him and take half had hit hard. And not because he was worried about the money. Even at the thought of rejection like that, he felt as if he were drowning. His body was siding against him, confirming Gannon’s theories.
