Page 108 of A Surefire Love
“I made a mistake, keeping my concern about Mercy from you.”
“I’ve thought a lot about that. I wish you’d felt like you could’ve told me, but I understand why you didn’t. You don’t want to lose Mercy the way your mom lost you.”
More helpless tears fell to her cheeks. “That’s what I was focused on. Losing her. But I shouldn’t have been. What I really want is to avoid hurting her the way Mom hurt me. By asking her to keep that secret, I was repeating one of Mom’s mistakes. It’s a tangled mess, trying to stop the generationalcurse from continuing. Trying to avoid something led me to actually repeat it.”
“One mistake isn’t the same as repeating all of them. You are not your mother.”
“It’s still a setback. I thought I was beyond all this.” She massaged her forehead. “Before I got worked up about Mercy, I almost asked you to call me Jen sometimes. It’s silly. Blaze is who I am. I know that. But the name came out of bad experiences, and before that, I was Jenny. I thought going by my given name sometimes would be like …”
“Evidence of a resurrection.”
Her throat constricted, and she could only stare. He understood?
She tucked herself to his side and wrapped an arm around his waist. “I thought of her again when I finally told you about Mercy.”
“I’m not surprised.” His body shifted, and she felt him lower his face to rest against her head. “It’s a gift to know you, Jen.”
The name settled like warm sunshine. Like a blessing. She turned into him and peered up at his face. “So is knowing you, Anson.”
“Since you know me so well …” He brushed her hair back over her shoulders, then clasped his hands behind her back. “Did you notice?”
She ran a split-second inventory, but he hadn’t gotten a haircut in the last few days or started wearing glasses. “Notice what?”
“That you’re not the only one in process. I was living out bad habits I learned from my parents too. Can you imagine the support they would’ve gotten if they’d opened up about Gury? But they didn’t, and I didn’t, and it hurt my ability tohelp the students. When I talked to Carter and Dylan the way you encouraged me to, they opened up in some very necessary ways. If I’d talked to them more honestly sooner, the church might not have burned down.”
She stepped back. “I can’t believe I forgot. What did Carter say last night?”
“He suspected Dylan was the church intruder and the one who started the fire.”
This was going to be a long conversation. She motioned him to follow her to the living room. He sat in the corner of the couch, and when she lowered to the cushion next to him, he pulled her in, tipping her against his side. She settled in, her back against his chest, her shoulder under his right arm. He kissed the top of her head, and she played with his hand using both of hers.
“Because of what Carter was saying, I decided to go over there. He predicted Eric wouldn’t be happy to see me.” His voice vibrated against her back. “He was right, but Greg came along and managed to get us through the door. We were barely in the house before Dylan spilled the whole thing. He’d taken his dad’s keys and went to church when Eric and Samantha were fighting. They’d had a huge argument the night of the fire. Dylan was there hiding when I checked the building. After I left, he lit some of the Christmas Eve candles. I guess it was supposed to be like the votive candles in Catholic churches. He thought they’d help his prayers for his parents.”
“Oh, no.” Those candles were thin, meant to be hand-held during candlelight services, not to stand upright on their own.
“They were too close to an autumn flower arrangement with dried grasses. That caught and lit a banner. Dylan wentfor a fire extinguisher, but by the time he got back, the wall had ignited, and he couldn’t figure out how to work the extinguisher. He called 911 and hightailed it home.”
She tightened her hold on his hand. She knew the terror Dylan must’ve felt. The crippling guilt. “What happened when he admitted all that?”
“I talked with the boys for a while, and Greg worked with Eric and Samantha. Greg was still there when I left. I haven’t read it, but he told me he, Eric, and Dylan typed up the story and emailed it to the fire inspector. Eric included a copy of that letter when he emailed Greg his resignation from the leadership board.”
“He resigned?” Amazement fluttered in her voice.
Anson’s chest rose and fell behind her with a deep breath. “Eric and Samantha have some things to work through. Samantha’s been concerned for some time that Eric’s out of balance. Between work and church, he spends very little time at home. That’s been at the core of their arguments. When Eric found out Dylan had been sneaking off to church because of it, he was angry. But then Samantha said her piece, and Carter talked about his experiences, and Eric … was not the man we’ve come to know.”
“Do you think you’ll get your job back?”
“Greg says the resignation letter includes a recommendation that the board consider reinstating me.”
“Praise God.” She laughed. “It’s amazing He turned the whole situation around so quickly.”
“Yeah.” His voice was clipped and low.
“What is it?”
“Last night wasn’t about that. I wanted to be there for Carter and Dylan. You predicted God would work through my story, and He did. I hope He’s not done yet, becauseCarter still hasn’t made a decision for Christ, though some of the things he said last night were promising. I told him he’d see God move, and I think watching his dad soften was like witnessing a miracle.” He rubbed her arm. “Carter’s got some curses hanging over his head, but Christ is a curse breaker.”
She settled her head against his shoulder. “I wish it were more of an all-at-once freedom than an ongoing process.”
