Page 42 of Shape Of My Heart
She realized that he was talking about his mom and sister as if they were still alive. That must have been so painful. She remembered the other day, too, when his dad called and he allowed the phone to go to voicemail. She didn’t know what that was about, but guessed that Josh wasavoidinghim.
“Josh, are you okay?” She looked him over and noticed the change in hisappearance.
“I’m fine. I should probably go. Plus, you shouldn’t be getting back too late.” He stood up to go. She gotuptoo.
“Josh. What are you going to do?” She knew he was going to drink. She could feel it. It was just like yesterday when he rushed out of the car and headed for the first bottle. She could only begin to imagine what he must feel. She’d never lost anyone that close to her and didn’t think she could survive ifshedid.
“That’s a big question, Kansas. You’re actually going to have to be specific.” The attitude hadreturned.
“What are you going to do right now?” Yesterday he’d been completely vile with his response of booze and bitches. She didn’t know if she could handle any responses like that, especially since she just spent a really nice daywithhim.
“Gohome.”
“Go home and do what? You said bespecific.”
“It’s Saturday night, Kansas, I might get up to all sorts of things.” He gave her a wickedsmile.
“Does that include…drinking?”
“Kansas, you shouldn’t worry about me. I’m certain that even you have better things to do on a Saturdaynight.”
She continued to look at him. “Will you drink?” She decided to ignore thecomment.
“Yes.” At least he washonest.
“And…call Allegra and bedfriends?”
She didn’t know why she said that. The words just resonated from her lips fromsomewhere.
Maybe it was her failure tohelp,or…
Maybe it was her suppressed desire from the other day when they kissed and he couldn’t remember. She tried to forget the whole damn thing but found herself thinking about it at times, much to her great annoyance. It was like some kind of curse where she had to live with the memory and he just went about his normal life with thesewomen.
Most people would think she was overreacting because it was just a little kiss, and yes there’d been a lot of intimate touching, but it was perhaps the most heated, passionate moment in her life. That was sad considering how old she was. She supposed it was down to her avoidance of seriousrelationships.
Thinking about it made her feel flustered. She didn’t know how she got to this point where she was here trying to convince Josh not to drink and hook up with his bed friends. The thought of both really peeved her off. “Imeanyou—”
Before she could say her next word he smoothed his hand across her cheek and sealed his lipstohers.
He moved so quickly that her brain barely had a chance to register that he was kissing her. His delicious lips fused to hers, sending a spark of electricity straight through her. Then something strange happened. Warmth gathered from the tips of her toes and propelled itself over her entire body. She felt it coursing through her veins like an awakened river zinging with vitality. It quenched her soul of a thirst she didn’t know she had and made her feel like she never wanted to bewithouthim.
The kiss was brief, too brief, but it still had a powerful effect andstunnedher.
He moved back a little to gaze down at her, but still touched her cheek. “No,” he said with that half smile that numbed herknees.
Her cheeks burned and her lips tingled from the heated blaze of their kiss. She narrowed her gaze, not quite sure what he meant. “No…towhat?”
“No, I won’t be calling Allegra and bedfriends.”
She held his gaze, trying to decide what to say next. “You just kissed me,” shebreathed.
He’d kissed her and he wasn’t drunk. This was therealhim.
“And you didn’t slap me.” He chuckled, running his finger along the edge of her jaw, making her skin tingle there. Tenderly his eyes melted into hers, holding her still. “Remember, it’s Saturday, we aren’t at work and I’m not your boss. Today I’mjustJosh.”
“Josh.” She said his name on the edge of a whisper while he held her under his hypnoticstare.
It was like the rules had changed somewhat. The kiss had done something to her that she couldn’t quite describe and all she knew was that she craved him and the way he madeherfeel.
