Page 46 of Shape Of My Heart
“Come here, you.” He hugged her too. “You’re both alive.You’reokay.”
It felt real, it felt realtohim.
“Yes, are you okay? Josh, unhand me, I need air, man.” She pretended to suffocate. He released her and looked atthemboth.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I’m just happy toseeyou.”
“Aww, you’re so sweet. My big brother’s the best,” she said in her usual way and slipped her armaroundhim.
“Let’s go to Italy. Nonnina will be thrilled to see us.” His grandmother spoiled them rotten and they hadn’t been since lastsummer.
“Josh, how are we supposed to make time for Italy with your busy schedule? You have a game tomorrow and the season just started.” His mother gazed at him through herhazeleyes.
“Forget the game. Forget the season. I just want to spend time with you.” Josh reached out and tookherhand.
“Who are you and where’s my boy?” His motherlaughed.
“I’m being serious. We don’t spend enough time together. I can’t lose youagain.”
She reached up and cupped his face. “You never lost me. Sweetheart, I’m so proud of you. How about you allow your mother the privilege of watching you play so I can cheerforyou.”
“Me too,” Clarissa joined in. “It’s the only chance I get to give you a standingovation. “
He felt tears streaming down his cheeks. “Imissyou.”
“We’re always with you, Josh.” His mothernodded.
That was something she’d told him countless times. So often he could anticipate when she’d say it. This time, however, held more significance. A warm feeling of hope filled him and he felt the strength he needed come tohisaid.
“Nowgohome.”
“Go home, Josh,” Clarissa said, too, but her voice sounded faint as if someone had turned down thevolume.
She said it again but he didn’t hear her. Josh watched her lips move. He blinked and when he opened his eyes he was back in the real world, staring ahead at the expanse of the gorge. Evening was approaching and a light rain had startedtofall.
He straightened up and pulled in a breath as he focused his gaze ahead. While he knew he’d fallen asleep and all that he saw of his mother and sister was a dream, something felt different. It was the reminder that they were always with him,evennow.
And he shouldn’t be here. Not at this place where so many had taken their lastbreath.
Josh shook his head at himself and tried to feel that strength again. It was there still, it hadn’t left him. He had to get his act together and sort himself out. He owed it to his family to try. And to the friends who supported him. He supposed he also owed it to Amy, who had taken it upon herself to try to help him. The last two days weren’t part of her job. He knew when people were doing things for money and he could tell the differencewithher.
When she kissed him that was real. It was probably the most real kiss he’d ever had, because he’d never been with a woman like that. He guessed the term wasdecent.
Josh needed to leave this place and go home. He needed to take hold of his life and do better to get it back on track. To do that he needed Amy, so he hoped like hell she came back tomorrow. If she didn’t he’d find out where she lived and apologize. He started the car up, but then turned it off again when he remembered all that he’d drank. He wasn’t drunk, but he’d definitely get arrested if the cops pulledhimover.
He got out of the jeep, cleared it of all the empty cans of beer and bottles of wine, then decided to head home. It would be a very long walk, well over two hours. But he’d take that time to think and plan out how he was going to move his lifeforward.
It was time to do somethingdifferent.
* * *
Amy only came backbecause the policecalledher.
No, she had to be honest with herself. She was already heading out the door with the intention to come back when they called her. Despite the horrible encounter she had with Josh this morning, she’d decided to gear herself up and see how he was. She’d put it down to just wanting to know how she should prepare herself fortomorrow.
Truthfully, she wanted to make sure hewasokay.
Then the police called her to let her know they’d found his Range Rover parked near Dead Man’s Gorge. She asked where that was, hoping it was some kind of dare-devil place or something, but deep down knew it couldn’t have been a goodplace.
