Page 47 of Shape Of My Heart
When the officer confirmed her worries, her heart shattered and she wished she hadn’t left Josh. Despite his rage she wished she didn’tleave.
She hadn’t known Josh very long, but it would break her heart if he did something to himself, and it was looking very likely that he had. The police found the Range Rover parked a few feet away from the edge. That sounded pretty badtoher.
It was six o’clock now. She’d been here for a few hours, sitting with Hilda in Josh’s living room. They were waiting to hear from thepolice.
Amy had called Hilda and Corey because they were the only people she had to contact. Corey was with the police. He went just in case heneededto…
Well, in case he needed to identify Josh’s body. A tear ran down her cheek at the horrificthought.
“Hey. Don’t cry,chica. We don’t know what’s happened,” Hilda offered, resting her hand onAmy’s.
“It doesn’t look good,Hilda.”
“I know. How about I go get us some stuff at the shop? Like ice cream, or something to cheer us both up,” she offered with a smallsmile.
Amy nodded, only agreeing because poor Hilda had done everything she could in the time they’d been here to make her feel better. If it made her feel better to get her something at the shop, then Amy would lethergo.
Amy probably needed a moment to herself anyway. Just to process what wasgoingon.
As Hilda left the room, Amy leaned forward onto her elbows and held her head in herhands.
What an absolute mess. These last few months had been so up and down that she didn’t even know if she was coming or going. First her mom, then leaving her job in New York, andnowJosh.
Weakness ached her body and sapped what little energy she had left away from her. It was as if she’d lived a hundred lifetimes in these short months. So much had happened in a very little space of time and she always had to be alert and ready for the next thing life planned to throw at her. There really was only so much a person could take and this waiting was torture. It made her feel worse for her lack of compassion towards Josh during the time she’dbeenhere.
He must have felt so bad about himself to go to thatplaceand…
She lifted her head as she heard the front door open. Footsteps that weren’t Hilda’s sounded on the floorboards in the passage way. As far as she knew no one else had keys to the house. She stood as the footsteps came closer. Her heart slammed at the sight of him, then soared within her chest when Josh walked into thelivingroom.
Relief washed over her in waves and to such an intensity that it brought fresh tears to her eyes. He stopped by the standing lamp near the wall when he saw her and bit the inside of his lip. Josh looked terrible. It was the first time she’d ever seen him look so bad. Bloodshot eyes looked back at her, overpowering the unusual mix of color that always fascinated her. The stubble on his face and the redness of his skin gave him a haggard, worn-down appearance. This wasn’t the Josh she knew. Her first reaction was to rush over to him and hug him, because she was so happy to see him and so happy he didn’t do something to himself. However, as the urge to hug him lifted, she instantly remembered their run in this morning and she felt like she’d imposed on him again, stepping so far over the line that it was beginning to look inappropriate. Especially when he outrightly told her not to come back tilltomorrow.
Then she felt annoyance at the conflict of emotions, andathim.
“I’m sorry I’m here. I thought something happened to you.” She grabbed her bag from the sofa. “Why were you at Dead Man’s Gorge? You know what, don’t tell me.” She shook her head. It was fine, she didn’t need to know. He didn’t have to tell her, and most likely wouldn’t from the way he spoke to her this morning. More tears ran down her cheeks and she wanted to leave before she broke down again. “I’m just leaving now. Please don’t scream at me and remind me that I don’t get paid to care. I’ll see you at nine a.m. tomorrow morning.” She could barely say thewords.
He caught her arm as she tried to rush past him. “Don’t.” He shook his head. “Baby, please don’t leave me. Stay,” he said in a soft voice she’d never heard before. He held her gaze and caught the tear that ran down her cheek. “Amy. Please stay. I’m sorry. We’re not at work now. This isjustus.”
“I don’t want toimpose.”
He took her hand into his, brought it up to his lips, and kissed it. “No.” He shook his head. “You aren’t. I was completely out of line to speak to you the way I did this morning. I didn’t mean it. Please…staywithme.”
She’d gotten to know this man so well over the last few weeks. In all that time, she didn’t think she’d ever seen him look more guilty or more in need. She nodded and tried to calm herself. Amy followed as he led her back to the sofa and sat her down. She thought he would sit next to her, but instead he surprised her further by kneelingbeforeher.
“I’m really sorry about thismorning.”
“It’sokay.”
He shook his head and took her hands into his again. It was odd, it felt so natural for him to touch her and hold her hands. As if they’d been like this for alifetime.
“It’s not okay, baby.” And that, calling herbaby.That feltnaturaltoo.
He looked down at where their hands joined, and when he looked back at her, her heart broke as she watched his eyes fill withtears.
“Today’s my sister’s birthday,” he managed. “She was an angel, just like you. She would have been thirty-three years old today, and because of me she’s not hereanymore.”
She pulled in a breath as she looked at him andlistened.
“Josh. You can’tbelievethat.”
