Page 49 of Shape Of My Heart
As he approached the site, he stopped and looked at their headstones. Clarissa’s grave had two beautiful bouquets of oriental lilies. They would be from his father and Pete. Josh placed his down next to theirs, and on his mother’s grave he rested the long-stemmed yellow roses he broughtforher.
He then sat on the bench nearby and gazed ahead at theirgraves.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been since the last time,” he told them. Then he started talking about everything that had happenedsince.
He spent the whole day there and left just before it turned dark. It occurred to him to visit his father but he felt he’d take one step at a time. He desperately wanted to see his father, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do ittoday.
That would be his next big thing, and he promised himself he’d doitsoon.
His drinking problem was the demon he wanted to focus on taking down. He didn’t know how long these things took, but he wanted to get himself together and ready fortraining.
It was late when he got back. Amy would have already left and so would Hilda. He did notice one person, though, who was well overdue hisattention.
The boy who constantly watched his house sat on the pavement across the street in front of the Spencer’s house. He wore the same football t-shirt with Josh’s player number and name like he did every time Josh saw him. In the past Josh had driven past, completely ignoring him. He wouldn’ttoday.
“Hey kid,” hecalledout.
The boy lifted his head and instant excitement brightenedhisface.
“Come here,” Josh beckoned him over. The boy ran over with his football tucked underhisarm.
“What are you doing out here so late?” It was just afterseven.
“Trying to get my chance to seeyou,sir.”
It shouldn’t have come to this. This boy had been coming by for a long time, standing outside with the hope toseehim.
“What’syourname?”
“Riley, sir. I want to be just like you one day. You’re the best.” Riley made his day. People told him that a lot but it was good to hear it from someone who looked at him with suchaspiration.
“Thank you. I appreciate that. Do you livecloseby?”
“I live in Mount Ridge.” The boy beamed. That was about a thirty-minute walk from here. Josh felt even worse. “My mom’s friend, Hilda, who works for you, lives on the same blockasme.”
The boy knew Hilda. There was another person Josh had treated badly. Unlike the other maids he’d had, he just treated her as if she was non-existent.
“Let me walk youhome,son.”
His mouth dropped. “Really, you’ddothat?”
“Sure, then we can talk about football. You can tell me about yourtraining.”
His little face fell. “Oh…I don’t train at the moment. I had to stop because my mom couldn’taffordit.”
“Well we’ll have to do something about that, then, won’t we. How about we start tomorrow?” Josh couldmaketime.
Riley gasped and his eyes grew wide. “You’d train me?!” heshrieked.
“Sure.” He nodded and smiled. “Come on, kid. Don’t want your mom and Hilda to get mad at me for having you outsolate.”
As they started talking Josh felt good about himself. Today was just the first day, the first step in the direction he wanted to go, but he felt good abouthimself.
When Josh got back home he prepared himself for night two without a drink. Tonight would be the real test as there was no Amy to keep him distracted with her words and herbeauty.
On instinct he went straight into the living room, turned on the CD player, and popped in one of his and Clarissa’s relaxation collections. The first piece to come up was the “Thais Meditation”.He then grabbed one of her old poetry books and startedreading.
If any of his friends saw him now they would laugh him to scorn, but this was what helped in the past when he needed to relax, clear his mind, andthink.
So maybe it would helpagain.
