Page 57 of Shape Of My Heart
“It’s new, Josh, and I need slowrightnow.”
The other overarching thing was obviously why she was here. Why she was working for him. Over the last few weeks she’d had several chances to tell him about her mother. Several opportunities to talk about herself. Thankfully they were kept busy with trying to sort out hisproblems.
The last thing Amy wanted him to think was that she helped him the way she did because of the money. It would break her heart if hethoughtthat.
At first she’d come for the money and that goal to get all that she was promised, but that was in the extremely initial stages. Things changed and her feelings changed. Right now she’d jumped so far over the line of professionalism that she couldn’t see it, and even if she could she didn’t know if she could go backoverit.
“Slow,” hemuttered.
“Yes. Josh, you have other things to worry about. Your father is probably at the top ofthelist.”
He looked away again and sighed. “I can’t speak to him, Amy. I want to, and I wish I could see him, but I don’t know ifIcan.”
“You should try.” She’d heard his father call a few times now. He always said the same things, and Josh always treated him the same. He always allowed the answering machine to pick up. “He soundedterrible.”
Josh turned to face her. “Amy, my parents were madly in love with each other. Every memory I have of them is filled with it. They were always together, hardly ever argued, and when they did it was over nonsense. Sometimes it was embarrassing, but it made me realize that people really can feel that way about eachother.”
All Amy could do was look at him and listen. She didn’t know how to comment because she’d had the complete opposite in her life. Her mother definitely loved her father, but he was a useless jerk who left his family practically on the streets with nothing. He didn’t love her mother or his children. All he cared about washimself.
“That’s beautiful,” shetoldhim.
“It is. And while I may be finding ways to deal with my guilt, I don’t know how to face him feeling like I took the love of hislifeaway.”
She put her arms around him and he pulled her close to his chest. “You didn’t, Josh. You didn’t takeheraway.”
He leaned in and kissed herforehead.
She ran her hands across his chest. “You should talk to your dad. You reallyshould.”
“I’ll prepare myself to call him.” He pulled away from her so he could look at her. “Amy, you can say no, but do you think you could stay with me. I just…needyou.”
Staying would place her right in the den of her intense attraction to him, but she would stay if he needed her. Besides, it sure would be nice to be somewhere safe andcomfortable.
“Of courseI’llstay.”
That seemed to really cheer him up. He took both her hands, brought them up to his lips, and kissed herknuckles.
“Thank you.” He smiled, then narrowed his eyes at her. “So, does slow mean not doinganything?”
She smiled at that. “No.” Her cheeks warmed as the mischief returned tohiseyes.
“Can we do what we did tonight, just…slowly?” He went to touch her waist and she swatted hishandsaway.
“No.” Shegiggled.
“This is real torture, baby. So what can we do? You can’t expect me to just stare at you from afar like someweirdo.”
She laughed then reached out to hold his jaw. “Comehere.”
His smile widened as she directed him back to her lips andkissedhim.
“Wecankiss.”
He smiled againstherlips.
“Before nine andafterfive.”
“Okay. I’ll try this.” He pulled her onto his lap again to kiss herproperly.
