Page 86 of Shape Of My Heart
“Baby, for the love of God, please tell me whyyou’reup.”
“Oh no, I’m so sorry. Go back tosleep.”
“I can’t, your thoughts are deafening.” He rolled over on to his back. The feint night light traced the outline of his handsome features, making them look more defined. He sat up and sighed as he looked at her. “Did you have that stupid rat dream again?” hesmiled.
Despite her state she started to laugh and sat up too. “How did you know about that?” The other night she’d dreamt of rats running all over her. She didn’t usually talk in her sleep, but it wouldn’t surprise her if she did that time. Shedespisedrats.
“Are you kidding? You thought I was a rat and hit me,twice.”
She continued to laugh and moved over so she was nexttohim.
“You poor baby, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe Ihityou.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time.” He gave her a pointed look and she instantly recalled her intense explosion on the morning of the ESPN show severalmonthsago.
She winced. “I’m sorry aboutthattoo.”
“No, I told you not to apologize for that.” He put his arm around her and pulled her closer. “So, what’swrong?”
Back to her worries. She looked at him, admiring him, and felt her heart reach out to him like it always did. “You should sleep, you have to be up in a few hours. It’s yourbigday.”
“Baby, I can’t sleep if something is bothering you. Tell me whatitis.”
It was the wrong time to talk. Tomorrow was a big day for more than one reason. Yes, it was the first game of the season, but the day after was the anniversary of his mother and sister’s deaths. He’d be thinking about that and she didn’t want toworryhim.
“It’s okay, Josh. Honestly. I’ll go get something to drink and you sleep.” She moved to go but he caught the edge of her negligée and took hold of her hand to pull her backtohim.
“You don’t get up for drinks. Something’s up. Amy, if you don’t talk to me how will I know if there’s aproblem?”
“There isn’t.” There wasn’t a problem for him. She was sure he didn’t love her, and he was right not to allow himself to belove’sfool.
“Amy.” He gave her a pointed look ofinsistence.
“I was thinking aboutmymom.”
“Issheokay?”
“She’s fine. Her health is fine. I guess it got to me that she was still looking out for my father even though we haven’t seen him in more than twentyyears.”
He held her gaze and stared into her eyes. Months ago she’d told him about her father. She didn’t say much, only that her parents weren’t together anymore. Saying more would have revealed her abandonmentissues.
“You haven’t seen your dad in over twenty years?” He narrowed his eyesather.
“No, we don’t have the best relationship.” She didn’t want to talk about this now because he needed to go back to sleep and it was one of those awkward topicsforher.
“What happened?” His eyes were filled withconcern.
“He…left us. I was barely eight and he came home one day, packed a bag, and drove away with some woman sitting next to him in his car. That’s all I remember, and we had a terrible life because my mom couldn’t always take careofus.”
“Amy.” He straightened up and put his arms out to hold her. “Why didn’t you tell me thisbefore?”
She shook her head. “I try to forget it and moveforward.”
“Why are you thinking about this now, attwoa.m.?”
She looked over at the alarm clock and saw it had just turned two. When she looked back at him it occurred to her that she was being ridiculous and she couldn’t talk to him about this. She knew what his view was on relationships. Realistically, Amy was shooting herself in the foot by being here with him, but in the same breath it would drive her crazy to bewithouthim.
“Amy, you look reallyworried.”
