Page 44 of Shape Of My Heart
How long had he known Amy for? Two days shy of three weeks, and yet she’d had such a massive effect on him. Big enough to let him know that, despite his drunken mind, he didn’t want Allegra and bedfriends.
What he wantedwasAmy.
The freaking Disney princess he’d christened Kansas. The thought of it all was just as grievous as the rest of his life. It didn’t do him any favors to want something hecouldn’thave.
* * *
Amy gotto Josh’s house early again. As early as she could. She didn’t have any problems at her apartment like yesterday because she’d sealed up the crack in her door, but she figured that if she could get to him early enough they could have a day likeyesterday.
She also planned to do something that could make him extremely furious with her, but it was the risk she was willingtotake.
The sun hadn’t even come up yet when she got there. The place stank of booze like it did before Hilda started workingthere.
That told her he’d hit the bottle hard, and it could mean that he’d had his bed friends and strippers around too. The thought pulled at her heart but she pushed it aside. She decided that the kiss they had was just a kiss and nothing more. It was really nice and she enjoyed being with him, but he was so wrong for her. Amy was practically shooting herself in the foot by going after a manlikethat.
Just yesterday she’d considered herself fortunate to not have happened upon anyone who could potentially treat her like her father did her mother. Foolishly, she never considered the man sitting nexttoher.
There was, however, one thing she was hoping the kiss would help with. She hoped that when he realized that she’d emptied out all his bottles of wine and threw out the beer he’d be calm enough to remember that there must have been some part of him thatlikedher.
It took her awhile to find everything, but she did. The pantry was completely full of wine, vodka, and other mixtures of drink. But she got rid of it all. She hated wasting anything, especially when she knew how expensive it was, but it needed to be done. They couldn’t continue like this and his drinking would be both their downfall. He had two weeks of public appearances and promotional work booked. Then it was training. She wanted to get him to thatstage.
Money had been at the forefront of her mind only days ago but things hadchanged.
Now there was more. Now shecared.
She cared that Josh was drinking too much. And, she cared that he grieved. Her heart went out to him and she wanted to help in whatever way she could. This was herhelping.
When she was done she waited for him in the sitting room. This time she didn’t turn on the TV. She just waited, and the longer she waited the more anxious she felt. When she heard him moving around upstairs she stood up and brought her hands together. She heard him come down the stairs and go into the kitchen. Then she heard him roar like the other day when she threw the water in his face. Today was worse, though. Today he sounded like some kind of hell beast. That was undoubtedly the result of her swapping the cans of beer in the fridge with elderflower juice. He’d liked it yesterday so she thought hey, maybe this would softentheblow.
She was beginning to doubt that assumption as she heard him cursing, saying terrible things that literally burned her ears. With courage she gathered her strength and made her way through the living room and into the kitchen. He turned around when he saw her and stared her down like he wouldkillher.
“You.” He pointed. His face colored fiercely and his nostrils flared. His eyes blazed. “You did this,” he yelled, picking up one of the empty wine bottles near the recycling bin. The bin had been full and she planned to take that oneoutside.
“You are drinking too much. We won’t be able to achieve anything if you don’t stop.” She was trying to make him see her point, but he shocked her by throwing down the bottle on the marble kitchen floor. It smashed on impact and sent shards of glasseverywhere.
He then went for the fridge, grabbed several bottles of elderflower juice, and smashedthosetoo.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?” heyelled.
That was when she knew no kiss on this Earth would have softenedtheblow.
“Josh.”
“Shut up,” he snarled and threw his fist into the wall behind her. She froze, thinking he was going to go for her next, but he backed away. “This stops now. You are my assistant. My employee. Don’t cross that line again. You don’t get paid to care. Now get out of my house and don’t come back till nine a.m.tomorrow.”
Amy pulled in a breath against the tears that stung the backs of her eyes. She looked at him and tried to find the man she spent the day with yesterday, but he wasn’tthere.
The person standing before her was someone else entirely. She turned and walked out, wishing she never had toreturn.
