Page 35 of I Love You Again
“Her father’s dying wish was for me to leave her alone. Being with her last night made me feel like I completely disrespected him, and like I have no right being with someone like her. Neil, I was going to ask her to marry me. I stole a fucking ring. I’ve never felt like that about anyone, and he told me I couldn’t be withher.”
Shit, this was all so messed up, and anger boiled within him the more he thought about it. He was angry with himself and angry that no matter how much he wanted to blame Jim, it was still Brad’sfault.
And, fuck it, while he knew he had no right, he was angry that Jim never gave him a chance. Brad would have realized the gravity of the situation, and that the penalty was losing Trina if Jim had simply threatened to stop him from seeing her. But telling him to leave and making him promise to stay away had taken it to another level. Not only was it harsh, but it was cruel. It wasevil.
Jim had in essence broken up two people who’d been together for thirteen years, and loved each other fiercely. Despite his worries, he must have known that they’d end up being affected by the whole messed upidea.
Neil looked at him for a few silent moments then rested his hand on his shoulder with a sigh. "Brad. Only you can come to terms with this whole thing. It sounds to me like you still loveTrina.”
“I do,” he replied quickly. “I never stopped. Not once, not ever. I tried to forget her, and when I eventually met someone who I might have felt like I could be with I felt like I was cheating on Trina. Neil, it washorrible.”
His mind ran on Becca Wailer, a bar maid he’d met in Chicago. She was nice, and definitely the kind of woman you’d dream of having in your life. She was really into him, in fact he knew she loved him, but he couldn’t love herback.
She was devastated when he broke it off with her, and she couldn’t understand why. And, there was no way he could have told her that he broke up with her because he still loved his ex-girlfriend of whom he’d had no contact with for five years at thetime.
When it came to Trina it was always love, no matter how much he suppressed the damn emotion. It was always there lurking in the background taunting him and telling him that she was it forhim.
“My friend, if you love her it doesn’t matter what her father thinks, or anyone else for the matter. I know how much you valued her father and wanted to do right by him, but he’s dead. And, I seriously doubt that if he knew the man you are today he’d send you away. You're the best guy I know. So good, I asked you to be my best man on the most important day of my life. You work hard, you're a great friend, and you're honest, loyal, andtrustworthy."
Brad was in awe at Neil’s words, appreciating him and the friendship they shared. "I appreciate that a lot. I really do. The whole situation has just left me feeling so raw and angry. I kept that promisereligiously."
"Yeah you did. You stayed away and now she's all grown up with her accomplishments. That promise is done and dusted. It seriously doesn't matter what her father thinks now. The only opinions here that matter are yours and Trina’s. So, fuck the promise.” Neil laughednodding.
Brad thought about what he wassaying.
Fuck thepromise.
Could it be that simple? Could he just forget it happened? It existed for so long that it had become a part of hislife.
“Ask yourself what you want man.” Neil prodded and rested his hand down on thesand.
Brad looked away into the distance. The question of what he wanted wassimple.
He wanted Trina, now more than ever. More than anything he’d ever wanted in his life. More than lifeitself.
So yes, fuck the promise. Neil was right. Neil was damnright.
That promise was done and dusted, just like the person he’d been in the past. The only opinions that mattered now were his and Trina's, and Brad was a better person now than he was backthen.
He was a grown man who had built a life for himself and now that he’d put things into perspective he knew there was no fucking way he was going to go back to the way things were, without Trina in hislife.
She looked so hurt when he left this morning, and the fact that she'd called Neil was evidence of herworry.
On that thought something surged through him, fueling him with a newfound strength and determination he'd never feltbefore.
"Thank you, Neil," he said rising to hisfeet.
Neil nodded with an approving smile. "You're welcome bro. Now go get yourgirl."
* * *
Trina satin the armchair by the window watching the rain pour. The trees swayed angrily in the wind, and everything looked bleak and foreboding. It was amazing how the weather could change the scenery and the mood. What looked like paradise yesterday looked far from ittoday.
Brad had been gone for hours now, and she didn't know where he was. Neil said he'd try to contact him when she called, but she didn't know if he managedto.
She hadn't meant to call Neil. Trina was genuinely worried and knew that speaking to Jennifer would lead to her breaking down from the weight of emotions that weakenedher.
Now it was getting late again and her day had been spent in this chair thinking aboutBrad.
