Page 59 of Never and Always
* * *
She hated goingto Claire’s house when she was so upset. She hated not being her normal, happy self that would visit with goodies and girlyfilms.
Today, Mia couldn’t even pretend that things were okay. But Claire being the great friend that she was took her into her arms the minute she saw Mia on her doorstep and saw how torn up shewas.
Mia told her everything. Yesterday she hinted at being with Nick and promised to tell her all that had happened. Today it was all that had happened andmore.
“Mia,” Claire began, wrinkling her nose. “That sounds completely off to me. It doesn’t sound likeNick.”
Mia couldn’t think about what sounded right or wrong, or if it was like Nick or not. All she knew was what happened. That was what she had to work with, and it had stunned her to the core. She might not have been with Nick for very long, but them being together didn’t just happen overnight and she felt like she’d had her heart ripped out of her chest. Every time she remembered what he said to her she hurt, her soul quivered with the loss and lack ofunderstanding.
“Mia.” Claire rested a supportive hand on Mia’s shoulder but she was crying too much to answer. “It just doesn’t make sense. Before he went to Florida things were fine. He then came back and broke up with you?” Claire was shaking herhead.
Having it said like that highlighted the weirdness in the whole damn situation. Nothing made sense. Nothing atall.
What an awful time she was having. First Alan, now Nick. The thing was, Alan wasn’t anything to her, and honestly, it was loneliness that drew her to him. He was different to the usual types of men she went for, so she thought why not. She gave him a chance. But he’d screwed herover.
She didn’t even think about their relationship when she discovered his deceit, other than to reason that it was part and parcel of theplan.
Nick, on the other hand, was a different matter. She’d always felt likethis.
This.Why was she calling itthis?
The feelings she had for Nick had a name. It was love. That was why she was so torn up. That was why she felt sodevastated.
It was because she lovedhim.
“I don’t know what to say, Claire,” she attempted against thetears.
“Something must have happened in between the time that he left and cameback.”
“Claire, maybe it’s best if I just accept it and leave it alone. I don’t want to hope. I don’t want to see something that’s not there and end up feeling worse than I already do,” Mia cried, wiping away hertears.
“I understand, and normally I would definitely agree. It’s just that it’s odd. Can’t you see that,Mia?”
“I can, but I don’t have the strength to try and find out what this is about. I don’t even know where heis.”
“Glenn must know. Ask him,” Clairenodded.
Glenn was probably the best person to ask, but if she asked and he told her, what would she then do with that information? Could she go and see Nick and find out what the hell was goingon?
Or should she leave it and accept that he didn’t want to be withher.
The thought brought more tears withit.
“I’m so tired, Claire. I can’t breathe.” She put her hand to her chest and broke down. Claire pulled her into her arms to comfort her, but all Mia felt was that void that filled her from the minute Nick told her he didn’t think they should betogether.
* * *
It was amazinghow bad memories could overpower the good ones. It was the bad ones that tended to be clear while everything elsefaded.
Nick flicked through scenes of his past in his mind, trying to grab onto happy memories. Memories of his parents, his mother and father who loved each other fiercely and loved him evenmore.
He thought of time spent by the beach when they lived in L.A., time spent with his grandparents, holidays and vacations. But it was all a blur, and so unlike the clear image he had of the day his fatherdied.
He remembered everything about that day, from what he ate to the impending feeling of doom and the coppery smell ofblood.
There was so much of it. It literally poured from the wound his father had sustained from the gunshot.
