Page 61 of Never and Always
Despite his father’s guidance, Nick blamed himself. Especially when he saw how the grief got to his mother. Even though she never said it, he knew she blamed him, too, and it took her several years before she could speak to him again and look him in the eye with that motherly love he was desperatefor.
It wasn’t until Nick graduated college and joined the Marines that things started to feel better. Before that, he went through some serious grief that affected him in ways he couldn’tdescribe.
It was Glenn that helped him through it all. He was there all the time, any time he needed him, always reminding him not to blame himself, always telling him it wasn’t his fault and that his father did what he had to do to savehim.
It was that special attention and that priceless care that made him back off the night when Glenn first told him to stay away fromMia.
The same feelings for Mia flowed through him then. It was worse now. His feelings had amplified into something he couldn’t control. Just from those few short days. It was like adding fire to gasoline, it took no time whatsoever to explode and turn into a ferocious blaze of heat that would consume everything in itspath.
One week and fivedays.
That’s how long it had been since Nick last saw Mia. Since that shit day when Glenn stabbed him in the back and brought the darkness back into hislife.
He couldn’t believe this was the same Glenn. Hisfriend.
God, it was a sickjoke.
Nick had found an apartment near work, but hadn’t been to work and hadn’t seenanyone.
Sawyer had called him several times but Nick didn’t answer, and he never returned hiscalls.
He didn’t even know what became of Alan and his brother. Nick had just cut himself off from everything and everyone, evenMia.
She didn’t call. He never truly expected her to, and he didn’t want her to. He did, however, hope she would. It was okay. She was better off withouthim.
He wasn’t good enough forher.
No onewas.
A knock sounded on his door, the sound taking him out of his thoughts andmemories.
He’d been sitting by the window watching the oncoming nightfall. Last night he drank too much and was suffering for it now with a headache. He didn’t want to seeanyone.
“Nick Wylder, you bastard, open the damn door!” It wasSawyer.
Nick shook his head. He didn’t want to see Sawyer, so he didn’tanswer.
“Nick, I’m going to kick the door in if you don’t openit.”
“Shit,” Nick cursed, getting up. He knew Sawyer meant it. He’d seen him do it before. Nick opened the door and was greeted with Sawyer’s angryface.
He came in, shoving Nick so hard in his chest he stumbledbackwards.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, man? You look like shit,” Sawyerbalked.
Nick raised his hand and turned away to go back to hisseat.
“Nick. Talk tome.”
“I don’t want to,” Nick said, shaking his head. “I don’t want totalk.”
He pulled in a sharp breath as he recalled the hurt that filled Mia’s eyes when he broke her heart. He couldn’t believe that he’d caused her to look likethat.
Him.
And she cried. He caused her to cry and he hadn’t been able to comforther.
Sawyer pulled up a chair and sat next to him. He’d calmed down and was looking more likehimself.
