Page 151 of The Rules Of Attraction
The answer that came to me was one that I’ve arrived at, at least ten times but rebooted my thought process to see if I could come up with anything else.
I hadn’t and that answer stuck with me.
Alex chose his career.That was the bottom line. That was what he chose. Above everything.He chose his career.
Even when he knew there were chances things could go wrong, and even after I said I didn’t want to get caught up in another work scandal.
He chose his career, but weeks ago I chose love.
I’d sat on this Morgan and Ackerman job for over a week, shelving it to the back of my mind as an option I was just keeping there, but would sacrifice for love.
After all that had happened today I suddenly felt like a fool.
After all I’d been through why would I even consider passing up such an opportunity?
So this was where I was at. Alex chose his career. Shouldn’t I choose my career too?
If I stayed and Sullivan’s got caught up in a fraud scandal I’d get caught too.
Same problem as before, just different characters playing the same role.
Then what?
I had to choose me too, because in the end I’d only have myself to rely on.
Just me.
Being with Tom opened my eyes immensely. I’d experienced firsthand how much effect one person could have on another.
I spent months feeling like I wasn’t good enough, or like something was wrong with me.
The same thing hadn’t happened here but some of the principles were similar.
Tom chose his own personal desires over being loyal to me.
Alex knew what it would mean for me if I got caught up with another firm in a scandal.
Both chose themselves.
So now it was time for me to take control and choose me.
* * *
Alex
* * *
I was actually scaredto go home, fearing what I may find when I got there.
I knew Summer left early.
The thing to do was to go after her and see if she wanted to talk some more, but since I knew that wouldn’t work I stayed at work.
It was eight o’clock by the time I got home, and when I saw her in the living room sitting with the lights dimmed and her suitcase packed my heart just…
Well…
I couldn’t feel my heart anymore.
