Page 123 of Blossoms of the Heart
Chapter 25
Phoebe
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We had sex all day and night. Indulging on each other until we had no energy left.
I fell asleep then woke in the very early hours of the morning. I was wrapped up in Tai’s arms, in his bed.
He was fast asleep still and it didn’t look like he’d wake up for anything. I looked over at the clock on the wall. It was four AM.
I shuffled around to face him, careful not to wake him up.
In his sleep he was just as beautiful as he was awake. Beautiful and strong.
In his sleep, he seemed more youthful too because he couldn’t give his trademark badass frown.
It was the best being with him, the best experience of my life.
But… now that I was awake reality was creeping back in, and fear.
I closed my eyes willing it to go away but it stayed.
It just stayed there in all its glory reminding me that I had to keep watch and be careful.
Don’t fall for him.
I couldn’t make the mistake of doing that. Not with him, and not with anyone.
Although I had to admit that this guy really did a number on my heart. Always.
Always.
My whole life I’d wanted to be with him, from as far back as I could remember. Eleven years of not seeing him didn’t dull my feelings for him. Not even when I thought he’d forgotten about me.
So I needed to be careful, and in actual fact it may be best to end this before it got too serious.
I just… didn’t know how I could. Or if… if I could.
The confliction in my soul made my pulse quicken and I found I couldn’t look at him anymore.
It would have been nice to wake up together and have more fun, but I couldn’t stay.
Slowly I moved out of his grasp and slid off the bed to retrieve my clothes.
I made my way downstairs and called a taxi.
Once back at Akito’s I snuck into my room and lay on my bed, where I stared out the window until it was bright outside.
I thought of what I’d say to Tai when I saw him at work in just a few hours.
The idea of staying away came to mind, but I pushed that aside. I was on a roll with the journal and I didn’t want to stop. I shouldn’t because Akito was depending on me.
I ran through a series of things I could say but nothing seemed quite sufficient.
In fact… telling him anything other than how much I wanted to be with him felt wrong. My fear got the better of me last week, when I asked to go slow. We did that, although now it felt like it was unnecessary. Last night was beautiful. Everything about him was beautiful.
When I saw him I froze up.
