Page 146 of Blossoms of the Heart
I thought maybe we’d fixed things.
But no, she left.
Make love.
Yes, we had. I felt different, and knew she did too.
So why did she leave?
I didn’t know how much more I could take of this and I couldn’t stand feeling this way.
Like my world would crumble away if she wasn’t in it.
Didn’t she want to be with me anymore?
If so, why make love, when all she wanted was sex?
It was getting to me now.
I’d found the one woman who’d managed to make me fall for her.
What I had with Candace was nothing compared to this.
And, that wasn’t me knocking my relationship with Candace or trying to make it seem like it meant nothing to me. It did and I valued what we had when we had it.
Phoebe on the other hand hadn’t just touched my heart. She’d touched my soul and everything that made me, me.
She was the one fish in the sea that was different from the others. The wild desert flower that Akito talked about when he bored me with his old Japanese tales.
I didn’t know what to do.
What should I do?
End it?
Thinking about breaking up with her made me sick, and I didn’t think I could bring myself to do that.
So I braved up, manned up, and tried to push it all to the back of my mind.
I tried to act normal when I next saw her, however, the next day when she left me again I felt worse than the day before, at which point insanity took me.
The next night, I went to the chair by the window when she fell asleep, deciding to wait for her to wake.
Enough was enough.
She was surprised to see me sitting there, awake, when she eventually woke a few hours later.
“Hi, you’re awake,” she noted.
“Couldn’t sleep,” I replied, noting the uneasy expression on her face. She glanced over to the corner at her clothes and purse, then slid off the bed to retrieve them.
“I could make you something before I leave,” she offered, but the quiver in her voice told me she could feel the tension that surrounded us.
“Why are you leaving? Why do you leave as if you have something to be ashamed of?” I wanted to go for subtle, but the fury that burned within me couldn’t be controlled.
“I’m not ashamed.” She shook her head.
“Then stay. It’s Saturday morning. We can sleep in late and have a late lunch; we could stay in bed all day. You used to stay then something changed. What was it?”
