Page 18 of Blossoms of the Heart
My grandfather was the Assistant to the president and White House chief of staff. Big title, with big expectations. Expectations he still had.
Mom had been actually raised to be a lady. She did the whole finishing school thing in Switzerland and everything. So she expected Emma and me to follow suit. Be like her, prim and proper, marry men who were up to her level of expectations like dad with his catalogue of credentials.
We sat out in the rose garden in the gazebo. I straightened in my chair and gave her my full attention.
“Mom, I’m sorry I’m not feeling so good,” I lied. “What did you say?”
She raised her perfectly arched brows. “Didn’t you hear anything? Not a word?”
“I’m sorry.”
She frowned. I’d sat here for the last half an hour, so even I could understand her frustration this time. Usually she was just frustrated with me because of archeology. She’d always try to find something to say about that.
“I asked how you and Jason were. Last time we all went to the country club you seemed so cold towards him.”
She’d already pulled me up about that.
This marriage had always felt like she was in the driving seat and I was simply following captain’s orders.
“I wasn’t cold towards him. Nothing was going on.”
That was just the thing, nothing was going on, nothing ever happened when I was with Jason. We barely spoke. First I thought it was our age difference. He was eight years older than me. I never had a problem with it, and it didn’t seem to be an issue much when we were dating.
He seemed into me when we were dating but within months of marriage something just changed . That was nearly a year and a half after we met. We’d been together for two years now.
We got married quick. I thought too fast. I wasn’t ready because I wasn’t feeling the sort of excitement I thought I’d feel when you were engaged.
I’d never admitted this to anyone, but I said yes to him to please Mom.
“You were cold towards him, Phoebe, and that isn’t the way to behave when you’re married to a high profile official. People start talking when they see things like that. You sitting by yourself on the phone while he’s mingling with the people.”
I released a sharp sigh. “Mom, would it make you happier if I was to straddle him in front of everyone, or maybe give him a lap dance?”
She hated when I talked like that.
Emma would never say anythinglike that.
“Phoebe.” She snapped. “No need to get vulgar.”
She thought that was vulgar. I almost laughed, and instead I shook my head.
I shook my head and decided to voice some of my concerns.
“Mom, Jason and I don’t really click so if you see us apart like that, that’s the main reason. Also I have a feeling he’s screwing around behind my back.”
Mom gasped and looked appalled.
“Phoebe, this is what I mean. You aren’t with some loser from the street. Jason is a sophisticated man who loves you, but what will you expect if you go around making claims like that?”
I pressed my lips together. Was she ever going to see things from my perspective?
Even once?
“Mom, can’t you just hear me out? You always jump down my throat when it comes to Jason.”
“Because I’m so worried you’re going to mess things up with him. It’s bad enough that you went and choose to do archeology, but must you defy me in every other way?”
I couldn’t stand this, and she would never let me live down choosing archeology. I had to fight her on it. fight her so that I could do what I wanted. Thank God Dad was on my side with that.
