Page 45 of Blossoms of the Heart
“Smoking, or angry fucking. Smoking seemed like the safer choice unless… you’re game.”
I didn’t know how many more times I could be shocked tonight.
The crazy part of this was I was completely turned on and now I was thinking about him bending me over and taking me from behind.
I’d bet I would enjoy it.
I’d also bet that wine did a number on me because what the hell was I thinking?
He was looking at me like he really expected me to answer that.
“Never did get that far, did we?” He added but something else flickered in those eyes that tamped down his lustful watch over me. I didn’t know what it was, but it looked like hurt.
Last time Mom had walked in on us making out. I would have slept with him, handed over my V card to him and it would have been a lot more special than the way I threw it away back in college. A one-night stand with Todd Jefferson, one of the big men on campus types who thought he owned the world because he was the president of the Sigma Kappas and his father was the mayor of California.
Tai observed my silence, drew in another puff and held out the cigarette for me to take.
I did not smoke and I’d never tried, but like most things Tai gave me, I took it thinking this was like drinking when you shared a bottle. It was sociable.
He watched me in that predatory manner I’d seen on his face earlier as I placed the cigarette to my lips and drew in some smoke just the way he did.
It didn’t look all that hard when he did it.
Again I blamed my lack of common sense on the drink and the rugged angles of Tai’s jaw. I drew in too much smoke and started coughing. God, my throat was on fire.
I stood up, dizzy and coughing.
Tai got up and took hold of me, rubbing my back as I coughed.
I smacked him in his chest when I regained some of my footing.
“You asshole, why did you give me that?”
He laughed. “You weren’t supposed to take it.” He dropped the cigarette and immediately the ember burned out on contact with the sand.
“You offered it to me so I thought I’d be fine.”
“Must you take everything I give you?”
“It’s because I stupidly assume you’d never hurt me.”
His expression turned more serious. “I wouldn’t.”
He held my gaze, still holding my waist.
We stared at each other in silence for a few seconds. The moonlight, the soft shush of the sea pulling in and out from the shore like a breath, the faint sounds of car engines in the background as the racing continued.
It was a moment, and in that moment I felt a peaceful sensation I hadn’t felt in years.
“I’m not the same old Phoebe.” I broke the silence.
That Phoebe he knew still had a bright future. She didn’t know yet that in that future she wouldn’t be able to have children, or that she would marry an asshole who made her feel like shit.
“Oh but you are,” he breathed, getting close again. “You still look at me the same.”
I wasn’t aware that I was looking at him any differently, but maybe I was.
“I’m not eighteen anymore.” Like that should mean anything. I’d already said something like that earlier today.
