Page 48 of Play of Love
“And you didn’t slap me.” He chuckled, running his finger along the edge of my jaw, making my skin tingle there. Tenderly his eyes melted into mine, holding me still. “Remember, it’s Saturday, we aren’t at work and I’m not your boss. Today I’m just Josh.”
“Josh.” I said his name on the edge of a whisper while he held me under his hypnotic stare.
It was like the rules had changed somewhat. The kiss had done something to me that I couldn’t quite describe and all I knew was that I craved him and the way he made me feel.
For those few moments, nothing else mattered and he really was just Josh.Josh,an incredibly handsome man that had just kissed me and made me feel better than I’d ever had.
I was already tilting my head up before he lowered to my lips again. I welcomed his lips and the divine ecstasy of him like pure oxygen filling my lungs. I allowed myself the indulgence of sliding my palms across the hard surface of the ridged muscles on his chest.
Blood pounded through my brain, danced frantically around my heart, and weakened my body. I enjoyed the taste of him and embraced the passion that filled me as his tongue tangled with mine. I kissed him back with the same strength and desire as the kiss intensified. He kept his hands at my cheek and stroked my face as if he loved the feel of my skin. But then he stopped and pulled away, leaving my lips swollen and burning with fire.
“I have to go,” he said quickly.
“Why? Just stay.”
“No.” He shook his head.
“We could just stay here and watch the sea, or catch a movie.” Or kiss.
After all the time I’d spent with him over the last few weeks I didn’t think I’d ever want to kiss him in this lifetime. But here I was, hoping he’d stay so we could kiss till the sun came up.
Josh simply looked at me and shook his head. “That sounds real nice, Amy.”
I liked the way he said my name.
“But I’m a mess. One big mess. Let’s be realistic here. It’s Saturday night, you aren’t at work, don’t waste your time on me.”
I blinked several times, feeling defeated as I watched him turn and walk away.
* * *
Josh
* * *
So that was what it felt like to kiss an angel.
Like pure energy, running through every fiber in my being and singing through my veins. When I had kissed Amy days ago it didn’t feel like tonight. For a start, the other day I’d been hyped up on alcohol and overloaded with testosterone. I’d wanted sex.
Tonight was different. I’d never experienced the kiss we shared tonight with anyone. It was the sweetness. I didn’t do sweet. I was downright dirty and liked my women to be the same.
Sweet was different and tapped into something I didn’t think I could feel. Not me. I’d gone through life on that wild edge of recklessness that made me who I was. Growing up I was the worst kind of guy to take home to meet the parents, and it was against me to even try to aim to be that guy.
Tonight, Amy made me see something my soul cried out for but couldn’t have.
It was a shame the kiss wasn’t powerful enough to cure my grief. I’d been sober for a whole day and just ruined it with two bottles of rum. Now as the clock stroke one minute past midnight I was wasted. Completely wasted.
“Happy Birthday, Clarissa,” I said to the empty living room. I grabbed a bottle of wine from the crate I had set on the floor in front of me. I didn’t bother to pour it into the glass. I just drank straight from the bottle.
She would have been thirty-three today. Because of me she didn’t even live to see her thirty-third birthday. How sad and cruel.
How very sad and cruel.
She and Pete would probably have been getting ready for their wedding. They wanted a summer wedding. Clarissa had asked me to walk her partway down the aisle, then Dad would continue the march and give her away to Pete.
She’d said I had taken such great care of her all her life that it was important for her to have me be part of her big day. I would have been honored to walk her down the aisle. I would have been honored to do anything for her.
But now I couldn’t. Not for her, or Mom.
