Page 183 of Play of Love
"Evie, what's the matter?"
I threw myself into his arms and held on to him as I cried from the depths of everything that was me. "Lucy." I wept.
He seemed to understand the minute I spoke because he held me closer and kissed my forehead.
Tears blinded me and my deep sobs racked my insides. It felt like my soul was weeping.
"Gage my heart is breaking. My heart is breaking, and I feel like I'm slipping away." My anguish assailed my control, and I felt the nauseating, sinking feeling of deep despair.
"Just hold on to me. Hold on to me." He whispered into my ear. "I'll take care of you."
I clung to him with desperation as raw grief overwhelmed me.
* * *
Gage
* * *
It was only sleep that could stop her from crying. She'd cried for hours on end until it gave her a fever.
I took her to the study and sat with her on the sofa where she'd snuggled against my chest, clinging onto me, holding on as if she were indeed scared of slipping away.
She fell asleep just like that, holding on. I stayed with her and took care of her as I promised, and didn't feel like I could leave her side.
The last few days had been crazy, and I found myself acting like some hormone crazed teenager who'd do anything to get a girl's attention. Why else would I drive around for hours looking for pink marshmallows?
After that first kiss, I found myself unable to control myself around her. I wasn't the kind of guy to take things slowly, but this situation was different. She was different, and I found myself wanting to do anything to be with her. I wanted to show her that she could trust me and while I'd joked about it at the time, I didn't like that she thought I was with Giselle. I knew she was scared to feel for me because she knew what I was like.
And, now there was this.
I knew she'd be heartbroken when she found out about Grams. I had been too. But this was devastation. She was devastated, and I felt sorry for her. I felt bad that there wasn't anything I could do to make her feel better.
I'd been completely wrong when I thought she'd understand. Who would just understand something like that so easily? It meant letting go of someone who meant everything to you.
I'd watched her with Grams for so long, following in her footsteps with her love for playing the violin. When I heard them play together the other night, I'd thought they were both more than incredible. A sense of strength had come to me just from listening and lessened the hopelessness I'd felt that night. I had looked at Evie as she played and thought she was something my grandmother had created, with love. Of course, she would be devastated at the news.
When the first ray of sunlight spilled through the crack in the blinds, I realized that I hadn't slept. I'd been awake all night, watching over her.
She shuffled against me and latched on to my shirt. I ran my hand lightly over her silky head to let her know I was awake. Tears spilled out of her eyes as she looked up at me and she shivered as she tried to talk.
"Hey there," I said stroking her head. She leaned into me allowing me to hold her.
"Gage." She whispered my name and instinctively held my hand when I smoothed mine over hers.
"I should have told you," I stated softly, against the sweetness of her hair. "I should have told you myself."
She lifted her head but didn't let go of my hand. "I know why you didn't. It was for Lucy to tell me." Her poor voice sounded croaky and ragged.
"I wanted her to have the surgery too, but she won't listen to me. I get it, I do, and I understand but I want her to live. Forever if possible. That's selfish isn't it?"
She shook her head. "No. A part of me understands. I wouldn't know what I'd do if I couldn't play anymore. Or if there was nothing left of me. That wouldn't be living. But choosing not to have the surgery is choosing to die." Her voice shook, and more tears spilled down her cheeks.
"Hey," I pulled her back to my chest and continued to stroke the top of her head. I thought I'd share what my grandmother had told me when I first found out about the tumor. "She said she'd lived several life times, and had been luckier than most to see the world change in so many ways. She'd lived through wars. Loved and lost, lost her world when my father was taken from her but found him in me, and pulled through it by teaching you how to play the violin."
She lifted her head again on hearing that. "She said that?"
I offered a smile. "Yeah. My parents were killed a year before your family moved into the neighborhood, and it's no excuse, but I probably wasn't the nicest of people because I just lost them. Lucy was devastated to the point where she couldn't play. The first day she played was the first day she met you, and your love for the violin mesmerized her. When she first found out she was sick, and what the surgery would entail, she said she couldn't give up her memories. She said it would kill her if she were unable to play, or if she couldn't remember how. The doctors said she'd be lucky to have ten years without the surgery and she was happier to take that."
