Page 37 of Play of Love
Those feelings gave me a rude awakening and served as a reminder to never trust anyone.
It was just a shame that I had to be forced to place my trust in Josh. Someone as selfish and self-centered as him. Because of him my mother might die.
Panic rose in my throat at the thought and I could barely control the wheel as I entered the grounds of the studio. I could see Corey waiting for us, and Zelda.
And, another official-looking man. I parked near them and they all came over to me.
“Hey, you okay?” Corey asked. At least he looked genuinely concerned. Zelda, on the other hand, took one look at Josh and her face darkened with rage.
She looked like how I felt.
“Amy, this is Coach Simpson.” I took a deep breath as I looked at Josh, asleep in the car. I got out and walked around to the passenger side of the car to open the door.
“Has he been asleep the whole time?” Zelda asked.
I looked up at her and nodded. I was too afraid to talk because I was so angry I could spit fire.
“We’re on the air in twenty minutes,” Coach Simpson said. He, too, did not look pleased.
I lowered to Josh and tried to shake him. I felt that maybe if I tried again I could wake him up, maybe the sound of my voice would annoy him enough to wake him up and tell me off the way he normally did.
“Josh, please wake up. Please,” I said close to his ear.
“Hey, why don’t we try to get him out of the car,” Corey offered.
I was grateful for the suggestion. “Thanks,” I told him.
He took Josh’s arm and managed to move him around. Once he had Coach Simpson on the other side the both of them lifted Josh to stand. The action made him stir and my heart leapt as I watched him move his head.
“Come on, buddy. You got to wake up,” Corey said.
Josh didn’t reply. He did move his legs, though, and he was able to walk with their assistance.
I was really trying to be positive.
I was really trying my best, but this wasn’t looking good. Yes, he moved, but he looked terrible. He couldn’t go on TV like that.
They managed to get him inside the studio and place him on a chair, but to my horror he fell asleep again!
“Has he been drinking?” Coach Simpson asked me.
“Last night,” I said, hoping that would help in some way for them to keep trying to wake him.
“Josh, wake up, son. Joshua.” He attempted to shake Josh but there was nothing. He stood up, looked from Zelda to Corey, and said, “This is no use. He’s no use to us like this, and it’s not right to keep forcing him if he doesn’t want to play anymore. Get him to rehab.”
No, no they couldn’t do that. I knew he wanted to play. I hadn’t known him long enough but I knew he wanted to play. Possibly more than anything. I’d seen it in his eyes when I laid down the terms of what we’d be doing going forward. I saw it in his eyes just yesterday.
And if he went to rehab, that would be it for me. I’d practically be signing my mother’s death certificate. That thought switched something in my brain and ignited the rage and anger that boiled within me. It surged mye forward and I took hold of his shoulders and shook him.
“Wake the hell up, Josh. Wake up.” Nothing. It was like he wasn’t home, and he had that stupid expression on his face like when he stared at my breasts and licked his lips. The fool was probably dreaming about sex. That wouldn’t surprise me. It did anger me, though, and just like that time when I found out Tristan was being bullied at school I lost my sanity.
Back then I was about twelve, now I was thirty-three and had had so much happen to me. So much just in this last month.
All I knew was I raised my hand and slapped him across his face with everything in me, and again across his other cheek with the back of the same hand.
“You selfish son of a bitch, wake up. Think about someone else besides your damn wretched self,” I heard myself cry. “Wake up! I did not put up with your crazy shit for this to happen. I put so much effort into you. Wake up if you want to play football.” I must have slapped him six times in total, hard. So hard it left a red mark on his face. In the process of the seventh he caught my hand as I was about to give it to him again and held my waist to steady me.
“I’m awake.” His eyes stared into mine, wide into mine. Wide awake.
