Page 19 of Remember When We
We all had to give our stories of when we last saw Marshall. Gio told the police he’d tried to stop Marshall from going to some tryout for some illegal shit, but he went anyway. Gio was supposed to go with him and I knew why he didn’t.
I had given him that stupid ultimatum. Come to the lake house if you love me.
He came and this was what happened next.
Detective Suarez reached over and tapped my hand.
“Miss Carson, are you able to answer the question?” He gave me a little smile. It was one of reassurance. I just didn’t know what the question was since I’d zoned out again.
I looked at him, then over to my dad sitting in the armchair looking like his soul was broken. Dad had gotten worse as the days went by. I just watched him digress and become a mere shadow of a person he’d been.
“What … um … what did you ask me?” I said, but I was still looking at Dad.
“Can you remember anyone else you may have seen your brother talking to? Anyone you haven’t mentioned before. It helps to have a good range of people we can look at,” Detective Suarez said.
I returned my gaze to him and shook my head. “I don’t. I don’t know anything, but I’ll ask …” my voice trailed off. What the hell?
I must have had some memory slip or displacement of reality, because I was just going to say I’ll ask him; my now dead brother.
My mind hadn’t processed it yet. Not fully. It couldn’t accept that Marshall was really gone.
When people used to ask me stuff about him, mainly girls who were interested in him, that used to be my go-to answer.
I’ll ask him …
A tear ran down my cheek and I brought my hand up to my head. I couldn’t do this. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Another reason why people didn’t want to talk when something like this happened; it made it real. It made it all too real and I didn’t want this reality.
I wanted to wake up from this nightmare. Run down those stairs into the kitchen and I’d be eight years old again. Dad would be making pancakes for breakfast and he’d have to make me more, because Marshall ate mine. He blamed it on Copernicus, our border Collie.
I wanted that day again. That time, all those years ago when we were just a little family and happy together. I didn’t remember Mom. She’d died when I was two. I had pictures though and somehow that was enough. Dad and Marshall were enough for me.
I didn’t know what nightmare road I’d ended up on for this to be my reality. A time where Marshall had been killed, shot in some gang war apparently and he was the only person who’d died.
“Miss Carson–”
“I’m sorry I can’t. No more. Can you come back another day? I don’t really know anything. I just want him back.” Uncontrollable tears ran down my cheeks and blurred my vision. I couldn’t even see them.
“Yes. That’s okay. I think we’re done with questions for the moment. The coroner should be in touch later today so you can make arrangements.”
I looked at him, he had kind eyes. He seemed knowledgeable and I knew he was simply telling me what he had to, but I didn’t want to hear those words.
Coroner …
Arrangements … No.
They had to tell me though, because Dad was out of action. He looked like an empty shell whereby he was here in body, but not in mind. Dad looked far, far away in his mind as he just stared at the coffee table.
Jesus, I couldn’t do this and I didn’t know where Gio was.
It had been nearly two weeks now. Two weeks since it had all happened and Gio had been out on the streets every day. Looking and searching, he was doing his part in his own way to find the people responsible. I just wished he was here. Here with us. Here with me.
Carla was here as much as she could be, but she’d had to leave two days ago to visit her sick grandmother in Brazil. It was the only reason why she’d left me.
Having her here would have helped me. Gio though, I felt that with him here the days wouldn’t feel so hard.
The detectives left, Dad and I remained where we sat. I didn’t know how long for, but I got up since I needed the bathroom and a drink of water. My throat was dry and I must have cried out all the water in my body.
When I got back to the living room Gio was there. My heart leapt when I saw him. I wanted to run into his arms and stay there forever.
