Page 26 of Pregnancy Scandal
“Yes, I’d planned for that damn camp all year, and you, Abby Cartwright, gave me chicken pox. You made sure I got it because you didn’t want me to leave you all diseased for the whole summer. Crazy girl at twelve years old. I never forgave you for that, and I never left you then. Abby…” I paused for a moment and looked at her. “We didn’t sleep together. You fell asleep.”
She sucked in a sharp breath. “What?”
“Yeah, I remembered earlier.” I nodded. “The… sleeping together part never happened.”
“Oh… well, that’s great.” She nodded and smiled, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.
If I were someone else, I would have believed that she genuinely thought it was great. I knew though that what she was saying and what she was feeling were two different things. The tear that made its way down her cheek confirmed my thoughts.
As did a glance at her notebook and the pregnancy magazine that was next to it. On the notebook was yesterday’s date with a circle around it and fourteen days after along with some notes.
I picked up the notebook, and her cheeks flushed again.
“Please don’t call me stupid, or crazy.” She winced. “Not right now. I was just keeping a check. It would have been the only good thing that came out of last night and knowing I forced you to do something you didn’t want to do.”
I set the notebook back on the bed.
“You didn’t force me to do anything, and if something had happened between us last night, it wouldn’t have been your fault. It’s no one’s fault. It just would have …happened.”
“I feel bad because nothing would have happened if I hadn’t all but propositioned you nights before. We wouldn’t be in this position now. We wouldn’t have been in many situations if not for me.” More tears came as she spoke.
“I don’t know about that, Abby. We tend to be crazy together.” I searched her face and caught and held her gaze. It was time. Time for me to get the balls I claimed to have and come clean. Come clean and try out this crazy idea that had formed in my head. It could be one of those things I’d probably kick myself for, but I wanted it. For her. “Abby, talk to me about this baby idea of yours.”
“No, it’s okay.” She shook her head. “I think it’s stupid and crazy, just as you said. Now that I know we didn’t sleep together, I can just rethink things.” She dabbed at her eyes.
“You aren’t happy, and I know you don’t think it’s great last night didn’t happen.”
“Gilly, this is really hard for me to talk about.” She swallowed and wiped away more tears.
“So… I know I’ve been an ass this week, but you always talk to me about everything. So, let’s talk.” I kept my gaze trained on her. “Abby, what really made you decide you wanted a baby?”
She looked at me, blinked several times, and pulled in a deep breath. “It’s the end result of what I want most. I want a child, but I don’t want my heart broken, Gilly. I would love to do it all the normal way and fall in love and have a child, but I don’t want to be with someone, give my all, give my heart, mind, and soul, and in the end they break me. It terrifies me, and I think I chose all these superficial guys over the years because I knew they were just for fun. Nothing was ever going to happen. I look at Taylor, and she went through so much before she found her prince. I’m the eldest, and I’m supposed to be the example, but I’m not. I’m not strong like her. Months ago, when I thought I’d try the whole dating thing, it just snapped me right back into that fear, and it brought a friend too because I realized I don’t want to be alone.”
It all made sense to me now. I took her hands again and brought them up to my lips, kissing her knuckles.
“I’ll do it,” I told her.
She narrowed her eyes at me. “What? What …did you say?”
“I’ll do it, Abby.” I repeated it. “We’ll do it. We’ll have this baby.” That was the idea that came to me. I’d do it, but I needed her to do something for me too, or at least try it if I was going to try this.
Last night was crazy for what happened, but it opened the door to something I’d be an idiot not to explore.
“Gilly…” She searched my eyes. “No…I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to do. This is a big thing, and you’re completely right. It could change us.”
“But…Would that be such a bad thing?” I asked. Something sparkled in her eyes like interest. “Abby, I didn’t tell you I wouldn’t do it because I didn’t want you. I said no because if we ever got together like that… it would be real for me. I couldn’t just be the guy to have meaningless sex with you, and I’d find it hard to have a kid with you and not be part of your lives the way I want.”
Now her eyes grew large and liquid. I’d bet I shocked her to shit.
“What?” She spoke the word, but her voice was barely above a whisper. “Gilly...” The underlying admiration in her tone gripped me.
“You heard me, Abby. So, here’s my very own crazy proposal. A: we have this baby, but you give me a chance to show you I wouldn’t break you; you give us a chance to be something more than friends. The way we were last night. Or B: we have this baby, and we do it like how you said. We just have a child together and it’s ours, but we aren’t in a relationship. I’ll do it for you, and we just continue as we are now.”
A flush crept up her beautiful face. Shock prominent in her eyes.
I stood up, grabbed a cigarette from my back pocket, and tucked it behind my ear. She watched me do that, and her lips parted. I didn’t smoke often. Gave up a while back, but I always had a few cigarettes on me to chill me out in situations like this. I had a cigar on occasion. Today was going to be one of those days when I needed something. It was one of those days when things changed for better or for worse.
She stared at me, cheeks flushed, eyes wide.
