Page 34 of Not Before Game Night
“You were different. Original. Different from everyone else.” He quirked a brow, and I just stared.
This was one of the worst high school bullies I’d ever known. He was the one guy who’d made me feel so bad about myself. This, however, was truth.
What I’d thought previously wasn’t true, and this was the real him. The real Cole.
He reached out and touched my cheek. It was the first time I didn’t think to back away, or like I shouldn’t have him touch me.
“Muse,” he said with his trademark smile.
My lips parted, and I moved to him too when he lowered his lips to mine. All thoughts of my article went out the window, all thoughts of everything gone from my mind.
He captured my lips with the possessive need of his and captured me too, in a big way.
Something happened inside me as he kissed me. Something striking against the passion, wild chemistry that sparked between us and the insatiable desire that made me want to allow him to take me. I wanted him to take me worse than before. Worse than ever.
The need was so great it shocked me that I could want someone so badly. He cupped my face and moved with me over to the wall where he practically devoured my mouth and sent me over the edge. The feel of his hard body beneath my palms drove me wild.
He ran his hands down to my breasts to cup them, and God did I want him to touch me like he did yesterday.
Yesterday…
I’d nearly lost myself to him yesterday, and I could have now too. I would have wanted to lose myself in him over and over again, like he was mine.
As I thought that, it hit me.
He wasn’t mine. A man like him belonged to no one, just himself.
Gage’s words filled my head. He’d said guys like Cole just wanted fun. That wasn’t something Gage made up to put me off. I saw it for myself. All of it, all online for the world to see. One woman after another.
Tonight, I could give myself to him, and it would mean everything to me. He’d be my first, but to him I’d just be a number. This week’s woman. Or God, tonight’s woman.
I pulled away from him on that painful thought, and he looked at me like I’d just slapped him.
“Fucking hell, Vanessa. What? Why? You clearly want to be with me. What’s the problem?” He gave me a penetrative stare.
I shook my head at him. “I can’t. I just can’t.”
“Why the hell not?”
I started backing away now. “I’m not one of your women, Cole,” I blurted.
He gave me an incredulous stare. “What?”
“I’m not a groupie or somethingyou can pick up just to pass the time with because you’re bored.”
“Do I look bored to you?” he countered, stepping closer.
“You know what I mean.” Frustration got the better of me and clouded my thoughts. “I’d sleep with you tonight, and it would be nothing to you because you do this all the time, while it would be significant to me.”
The words flew out of my mouth before I could take them back. Just like most things when it came to Cole, I didn’t think first before talking. The fact that frustration was fueling my thoughts just sabotaged me even more.
There weren’t many inferences a person could draw from my declaration. Just two in-your-face ones, which I could see dawning in his eyes.
The first was that I would think it was significant because I had deep feelings for him, and we both knew it wasn’t that.
So… the only other reason it could be significant for me was because it was something I may not have done before.
Like had sex.
