Page 41 of The Sting of Love
Danger and death. Those are the two constants in my life.
I think of Willow, and I know in my heart now that I can’t see her anymore. Our worlds can’t cross again.
The situation here just became more dangerous than it already was.
It’s too dangerous for her to be with me.
Chapter Eleven
Willow
I gaze back at my reflection in the mirror as Lurlene spins me around and allows me the first look at my face. She’s spent the last half an hour doing my hair and makeup, and I look like a million dollars.
“Oh my God,” I breathe, smiling at my reflection.
She stands behind me, smiling wide with her glossy red lips the same color as mine.
“You better like it, honey. You look fantastic,” she says and straightens up. “Red is definitely your color, and your hair like that will keep that man of yours happy for life.”
I laugh and tuck a lock of my hair behind my ear. It’s down in long graceful waves she teased to perfection. I actually look better than I did on my wedding day, and that’s saying something considering I’m just going to dinner.
It’s not just my physical appearance though. There’s a light in my eyes that twinkles, and I recognize the old me coming back.
“Thank you. I love it. I really do. You’re sure the red doesn’t make me look like a slut?” I tease. I’m joking. Even if it did make me look like that, I’d wear it just for the difference to my usual nude and pink tones.
“Isn’t that the look you’re going for, sugar?” she laughs. “It’s okay to look like a slut if you’ve already snagged your guy and he knows what you’re like in the bedroom. You’re just renewing the visual so you can keep him.”
I shake my head at her. I didn’t expect anything less than the answer she
gave. I do wonder, though, if I could have more than sex with Donny.
I reach for the shell pink lipstick on the dresser and hold it up. “If this is more me, wouldn’t it be better to be subtle? I want him to know more about me. The real me. The part of me that’s not about sex.”
Lurlene waves her hand over me and chuckles. “This is the real you. It’s the part of you that comes out when you aren’t restrained. It’s the part of you who can be who you want to be whenever you want.”
I nod at that and set the lipstick back down with the rest of makeup. Being here has been good for me in more ways than one. Lurlene always had a way of knowing what to say to make my worries feel like I can handle them better.
“Thank you.”
She sits on the edge of the bed and sets her shoulders back. “You really like this guy, don’t you?”
I nod. “It’s weird to meet someone in an entirely different country and know them for such a short time but connect the way we have.”
“I know what you mean. It’s rare and it’s nice, definitely nice.”
“I know not to be silly though. Nice is what it is. I’m just going with the flow, and I do feel like I can breathe for the first time in forever.” That’s the part I’m treasuring, and yes… maybe I can be silly in my mind and admit that I more than like Donny.
It’s okay for me to believe what I want in my imagination, so I’m choosing to bask in the emotion that swirls through me whenever I think of him. It’s the same emotion that makes me choose to be blind to the fact that I actually saw him with a gun yesterday.
I know he saw me looking, yet neither of us said anything about it.
It bothers me. I won’t pretend it doesn’t because it does. It suggests something sinister and dangerous at play, and I don’t want to believe that there could be any darkness in a man who has brought so much light into my world.
“Enjoy it for whatever it is. Life’s too short to dwell on what feels silly and what doesn’t. It’s like me, a woman who knows she should move on and try to heal from the loss of her first husband and can’t.” She nods. Sadness brims in the depths of her eyes. She’s never said anything like that before, but I know her words as truth.
Anyone who truly knows her knows she never got over Eddie.
“You can,” I tell her, and she draws in a breath, relaxing her shoulders.
