Page 36 of Double Edged Hearts
“No?”
“No. I think after so long he wouldn’t have forgotten me anyway.”
“Alex… that was his name. Cora, I hate to talk about this because it’s a touchy subject, but I doubt from what I learned about that guy he just forgot you.”
Richard had me followed. That was how he knew. He came to see me for a surprise visit back in LA and saw me with Alex. I never knew about that. Then he had Alex checked out. By that time I was here in Chicago. Richard came armed with knowledge of exactly who Alex was and knew we’d been seeing each other for years.
I’m not sure what answer I’m supposed to give here. I know why he’s asking. This is the first time the need for the question has come up. When I got back from Europe we never spoke about what sent me there or my parents deaths. Richard just went back to how he used to be with his subtle references to Mom. Like he did when he spoke about my aura.
“It’s been four years, Richard. You don’t have to worry about him anymore. You were right.” I raise my shoulders and give him a small smile when he reaches across the table and covers my hands with his.
“My dear, it’s not about being right or wrong. I hate being right. Most often I am and I don’t take pride in it. It was hard for me to destroy your relationship when you were clearly in love. I can see it hurts you now to talk about. I just had to ask because I knew it must be hard coming here when the last visit was so bad.”
I nod understanding. “I know and it has been, but it’s one of those things that worked out for the best.” I feel like a hypocrite saying that and my poor heart squeezes in response at the lies that fall from my lips.
“I believe so. I just feel bad for being the bringer of bad news and then taking away a part of your life that made you happy. I wouldn’t be the guy I claim to be if I allowed you to continue down the path of being with a man like that and not know the dangers.”
“I know, and I understand you only did what you had to protect me.”
“My dear girl I wanted to stop you from making the same mistakes your mother made. I tried to warn her away from Peter.” He says and pauses. He always says my father’s name like that, with an edge of scorn. Even before the truth came out. “Lily didn’t listen, so all I could do is be there for her. For both of you. Every time you guys moved I was a nervous wreck.”
I remember him coming to see us whenever we moved. He looked so angry, angry at Dad. Richard never said anything though. Not to my knowledge. Maybe he was scared. My father was a tough looking man who would soon put you in your place if you looked at him the wrong way.
“I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for my girl. It was just the way it worked. I blame myself for not taking a stand with her and that’s why I had to take that stand with you and tell you the truth.”
“I’m glad I know. It crushed me to hear it, but while I was away I realized that you were only trying to help me. You can’t be blamed for that. Knowing the truth set me on this path. I’m in a good job and I have my future ahead of me.”
When I lived with him, he used to talk about us working together because we had so many similar interests. He was so proud when I joined. Seeing such pride in a man I admired so much was enough to keep me going.
He nods. “You’ve done wonders at the Bureau. I couldn’t be more proud of you. Lily would be proud too. She really would.”
It’s good to know that. I think Mom would be proud of me and all that I’ve done over the last few years. That’s something to hold on to and use to move forward.
“That means a lot to me Richard,” I say and dab at the corners of my eyes as they well up with tears.
He gives my hand a gentle squeeze then releases me. “You deserve to hear it. It’s the truth. I apologize for stirring the past. I just wanted to know that you’re alright.”
“I am. I’m fine and I’ll be okay with the job too,” I assure him.
“Good,” he answers with a smile. “Eat up. Let’s not allow the food to get cold. We have all night to talk.”
I smile at him and pull in a deep breath.
What I want is a future that holds positive things. My past was awful. What was worse was finding out my father was truly a monster.
Time has only taken the edge off the pain. That’s all. The only thing I can do for myself is seek a life free from violence and fear.
If I hope to have that I have to focus on my work here and my career.
This time when I leave Chicago the door will be closed on the past.
