Page 68 of Double Edged Hearts
Chapter Twenty
Alex
I’m smoking…
I hardly smoke, but I do when I’m stressed.
I’m stressed now because I feel like I should take my girl and run far away. Leave the country, anything besides what we’re doing right now.
We’re in the bath, and it’s in the early hours of the morning. Once again, we were in that bed, never leaving, only coming up for air.
She’s pressed against me, sitting in the gap between my legs while I hold her in one arm and the cigar in the other hand.
I’ve been calculating the hours. It’s been nearly twenty-four hours since Cora spoke to Richard. If someone was tracking the call, I’m hoping the fact that a whole day has passed means we’re safe. Thatshe’ssafe.
My one rule in life, though, is never assume anything.
That’s closely followed by always staying in control. I broke that rule when I decided to allow her to call Richard. The minute she did, I gave her control over us.
I want to relax, but I can’t. I won’t until I hear that Matvey is behind bars somewhere or dead.
“What are you thinking?” she asks, piercing the silence.
“A lot. I’m thinking about you.”
“What about me?”
“Tons of stuff. You didn’t really answer me when I asked you why you joined the feds. I know why you stopped seeing me and you said it was more you, but I don’t believe that. Was it because of Richard?” I’m curious, that’s all.
She shuffles and twists to look at me.
“Yeah... It was. He’s always been this symbol of good in my life. I joined because I thought it would be something good.Icould be someone good, different from my father,” she answers and I stroke her hair. “Are you asking me because of us?”
I chuckle and take her hand. I hold it up and look at her dainty fingers in mine.
“I’m going to put a ring on this hand one day. You’re going to be my Mrs. Alex and we’re going to have lots of babies,” I inform her.
Her cheeks flush, and she smiles, moving a strand of her wet hair from her cheek.
“We are?”
“Yeah. I’m Italian, we like big families, and we love baby making. So, yeah, we’re gonna have lots of babies. That’s my dream. That’s what I want to do with my life. That means I’ll do what I have to, to be with you. I’ll give up what I need to, to be with you. But, I’ll do what I have to, to keep you safe. You and our children. I’ll protect you no matter what.”
A tear runs down her cheek. “Alex…” she dabs at the corners of her eyes.
“I mean it Cora. I’m sorry your father turned out the way he did, but please don’t take that and judge me. Not when you know me.” It’s important she knows this. “Not when you know you can trust me. I am who I am and that means I can be the average Joe and live the vanilla, but as you know the past can follow me.”
I think of Luc, Claudius’ brother. He was supposed to be boss but he gave up the empire for his wife. If he can do it I can too. It’s easy to hand over whatever you have to for the woman you love.
“Alex, I love you for who you are, and what you are,” she says with conviction. “I don’t want to change you. It means a lot that you want to do whatever it takes to be with me and protect me and our children, but I won’t change you. I fell for Alex Bellantoni, the guy who was part of a crew of guys who were good people. That’s what I see when I see you. I know you left the guys to save me, but I don’t think they’d leave you.”
I don’t know about that. Claudius was serious when he said I’d be out. He was serious too when he said he’d come and get me. The decision isn’t about them though, it’s about me and Cora.
“I just want a life where we can be together and be who we want to be at the same time. That’s my dream,” I say.
“Mine too. So I think I need to go back to being that person I used to be when I wanted to live on the edge of adventure and use my skills and abilities to help people in ways that others couldn’t. I don’t really think I can truly do that by being a fed.”
That surprises me. I bring her hands to my lips and kiss her knuckles. “Cora, I don’t want you to give up a career you worked hard for.”
