Page 32 of Double Edged Hearts
“What?” I ask. I can’t stand the pussyfooting.
“Just want to know if you’re okay, kid. That’s all,” Dante says
“What do you want me to say?” I raise my shoulders into a shrug.
“So, that’s a no.”
“It’s a no,” I answer.
“For the day, or the girl?” Gio asks.
I sigh. “It’s best I don’t talk about either. There’s nothing to say.” I lost them both.
“Alex, this day is always going to be hard for you.”
“It’s always going to be painful,” Dante adds.
The lighthearted mood is gone now. I know they know pain. That’s why we have the crosses tattooed on our necks. We wear it to remember our fallen.
There’s a big difference between me and them though.
Dante’s sister was murdered, he wears his for her. Gio’s best friend was murdered, he wears his for him. Phillipe was murdered, the cross on my neck is for him.
What no one can see is the cross I bear for killing Jude. Nobody will ever understand that. I know I had to kill him, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
“Yeah. It will always be painful and hard,” I agree.
“We’re here for you, and since we’re here maybe we can talk about the other thing that’s on your mind,” Gio offers, looking me over with concern.
He’s talking about Cora. The only person I’ve truly spoken to about her is Donny and even he doesn’t have the full details.
“We’re done, that’s the short version of the story,” I reply. “It’s over.”
“Alex, maybe it wasn’t meant to be,” Gio surmises and I just nod.
That’s the very thing I’m telling myself. Cora and I weren’t meant to be together.
“You know what Gio, I think so. I think you’re right,” I answer and they both exchange glances.
The only direction our relationship could have ever gone is south. That was always the worry. From the minute I knew she had some links to the feds through Richard, I knew we’d have problems. As time went on I hoped maybe we’d be okay.
But we weren’t. So, I’m inclined to believe we weren’t meant to be.
“I know it’s difficult and there’s no right thing to say, but I’m gonna tell you to take the time to let it sink in and move past it,” Dante says.
I know he’s not being an ass by telling me that. He’s being real with me. We’re part of The Four. We can’t afford to have shit on our minds. Not like this.
Trouble is always on the horizon and right now, it really doesn’t sit well with me that Cora is investigating a bastard like Matvey. Word on the underground says he’s still here. That’s all the streets are saying and everybody who value’s their life will be keeping the fuck away. Nobody knows what shit he’ll be stirring in Chicago. We haven’t spoken about him as a group yet. I know though it would have been said. If the streets and the underground know, Claudius does too and he would have spoken to Dante and Gio. As for me, he’s treading softly on account of Cora, and Jude’s anniversary.
“Thanks, I will,” I reply.
I nod, appreciating the offer.
“We’re gonna be at the club until late. Call us if you need to,” Dante says.
“Don’t worry about me.”
Gio nods, and the two of them leave.
