Page 63 of Double Edged Hearts
I wish I could truly savor this, but the worry of what’s happening outside us feels like an elephant in the room.
“Tomorrow, we’ll go into town and get some stuff. Food and clothes. I’ll cook you something better,” he says before the awkward silence can fill the space between us.
“The place seems quite maintained. Do you come here and take care of it?” I ask.
It looks like it’s all been cleaned, and although the fridge was empty, there were cans of food in the cupboard and sacks of rice. All food you’d need in a storage cupboard in case you had to get gone and live in hiding, just the way we are.
“No. I have been here one time only. I have a person who comes here and tends to the place once a month. They rotate the storage of the food and keep the place stocked in case I need it. They take the food I don’t need or don’t get to use to the shelter. They grow the crops too. One thing I like is fresh vegetables.”
“That’s a good setup.”
“Yeah.”
There’s been a big question on my mind that I’m more worried about asking than making another attempt to ask if I can call Richard.
Alex hasn’t talked about the guys. Not once. He’s barely talked about them during the times we’ve seen each other. I would be a fool to not know why that is.
They must know I’m a fed. I doubt they like the idea of that, and I can’t imagine that they’re in agreement with this arrangement we have going on here.
“Alex…”
He lifts his head to acknowledge me. “Yes, doll?”
“Have you called Claudius or the other guys?”
He blinks, glances down at the counter, then flicks his gaze back up to meet mine.
With a staggered sigh he nods, but the uncertainty in his eyes tells me more.
“I’m not part of the crew anymore, baby,” he replies, and my eyes bulge. My lips part and my shoulders drop.
“What?”
“Can’t have it both ways. I left because it was the right thing to do.”
“How? How can you say that? They’re like family.”
He sets the knife down. “Matvey came to the garage and threatened to kill our families if I didn’t stop helping you.”
My hands fly up to my cheeks. “Jesus… why didn’t you tell me?”
He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter, Cora. You know what though? I chose them when I thought it had to be over between us, then when I heard they took you, there wasn’t a question about what I had to do. You are my family, so… this is me protecting you.”
My heart swells and my eyes fill with tears. I get up and make my way over to him. Slipping my arms around his waist.
“Thank you…”
“You can’t thank me for something like that, doll. It’s the truth. It’s that truth I keep telling you about.”
“I know. I know, and I accept it. But I never wanted you to stop being who you are.”
“I didn’t. I guess it’s more the case ofwhatI am.”
“It’s the same thing.”
“I don’t know, and you know what, doll… you’re right. I’m not a coward, and I can’t be the man I’m supposed to be if we sit here and do nothing while people die.”
My heart lifts with hope. “What are you saying?”
