Page 80 of Game of Love
Because of who he was, we’d been given permission to talk amongst ourselves about the invite. I’d mentioned it to him the other night. That was when we’d agreed to talk next week.
He raised his brows when he got to me and ran a hand through his hair that he’d allowed to grow longer than his usual crew cut.
“Boy, you’re up here thinking serious stuff aren’t you?” He stated with a chuckle.
“Yeah, is it that obvious?”
“Yes.” He came and stood next to me. “As obvious as I am with my worry over Claire.”
Honestly, Jack was so good at hiding any emotion that I wouldn’t have known any different if he hadn’t said.
“Well, that makes two of us.”
He tilted his head to the side and regarded me with a curious expression.
“Xander… please for the love of God don’t base your decision on your feelings for Claire. That is all I ask.”
I had to laugh. I knew he knew that Claire and I were together. It was a look he’d always give when he saw us. The kind of look that told me he hoped it was true.
“What would you do?” I asked. “What would you choose if you were me?”
“Boy, that’s a tough question.”
“No, it’s not. Tell me what you would do.”
He folded his arms and sighed. “Pick it apart and look at the variables. Then ask myself what I want. Then go with the option that is true to me.”
I’d never thought of it like that before.What is true to me.
“How do I know what’s true to me?”
“You search inside you for what you most want. Is it captain or agent, lieutenant? Really, Claire can’t come into play in a decision like this. As much as I appreciate your worry. But this is your life and it’s a bigger question than simply choosing a path. You have to think about where it leads.”
“Both are good options.”
“But right now you only have one choice. I think you’ll definitely get to captain but is that what you want? Why do you want to be captain, Xander?”
I smirked. “Means I made it to a highly notable position. Means I made something of myself and I get to truly use my skills and abilities to lead people.”
He smiled. “But you do that now. That is what I mean about being true to you. Remember I’ve done this for a long time and I know. I’ve been captain and I’ve been agent. I’ve been a lot, but what was true to me was my ability to know when I needed to change path and do something else. What you want might not be captain or agent. There are many things you can do Xander. Always remember that, while I have to say this whole agent thing is serious because of The Ra and quite an honor because you’re the best, you have to be true to you. You were picked because you are the best. I know Ethan would only select the finest. That doesn’t mean squat though if you aren’t doing what you want to do.”
I searched through my thoughts and thought of the path I wanted to take and the direction.
The answer was still the same.
What felt true to me was her.
Claire.
Always. She always felt true to me.
I loved her too much and enough to sacrifice what I wanted just to make sure I could take care of her.
The only person I trusted to take care of my girl was me.
So that was it. I’d made the decision.
I straightened up and intensified my gaze on him.
