Page 148 of Sins or Secrets
Quinn
I’m still on autopilot.
It’s the only way to manage the insanity that’s taking me.
Logan hasn’t been home in two nights and it’s looking like another night like that, although it’s not that late yet.
I just think it might be because he’s still not answering his calls.
So I’ve stopped calling.
The last time he got like this was when Barry died.He didn’t want to speak to anyone.
We weren’t together then though.It was the prelude of us. Maybe the start of what we would become because he was different after Barry died.
There was something gentler in him after the storm of grief blew away.
That whole time before that though he was just reserved and in his own world.It took him months to come out of it.
I don’t want him to be like that over me.
I’ve felt so rotten since I last saw him that I could barely function.If this had happened a few weeks ago I would have cancelled my classes today.I didn’t have the heart to when I imagined disappointing my girls.
At seven when the doorbell rings I run to answer it thinking it’s him but foolishly realizing it couldn’t be because he’s never rang the bell.He has keys and this is his house.Why would he?
When I open the door and see Heather standing there with a little smile on her face I fall into her arms and burst into tears.
“Mom,” I babble, not even realizing what I said.
I sound like a big baby and I’m acting like it too.
“Oh sweetie,” she says, stroking my hair.
She holds me until I calm down and the tears subside.I’m so tired and drained, no wonder I’m a crying mess who can’t get my act together.
When I do calm down we go to the living room where she sits me down and lowers next to me.
“Now I’m glad I followed my instincts and came to check on you,” she says.
“I’m so sorry to be such a mess.You drove all that way to come see me?”
“Yeah, as happy as I am for you about Juilliard, I knew it would have caused a stir.Dennis is away on business so I just jumped in my truck and thought we could have some homemade cocktails for an hour.”
I’m surprised when I find myself laughing.“That sounds nice, only I’m not sure I can drink anything.I’m in the mood where I might not stop.”
“Alright, that’s a bad idea then, so how about we talk.I’m guessing Logan’s not here,” she observes tentatively.
“No, he’s not. We had an argument and he hasn’t been here in days.”
“Oh honey. I’m so sorry. What happened?”
My gaze drops to her elegant fingers clasped together.When I meet her gaze again I tell her what happened.
“I’m still afraid to take the plunge and now that this offer is on the table I don’t want to make the wrong choice.It’s Juilliard. No the job isn’t what I want but we know it will open doors for me.”
She stares back at me and the longer she looks the more intense her stare becomes.
“Quinn. This isn’t about New York, or Juilliard or even dancing,” she states and I narrow my eyes at her.
