Page 27 of Sins or Secrets
“Yeah…” I don’t want to talk about that part.I don’t want to admit out loud that it pissed me off because it reminded me I’m not important enough in her world to want to say goodbye to.
Goodbye ten years ago really was it.I don’t want to admit to anyone that her departure ten years ago still hurts and today shows that I was wrong.
Every time I felt there was something deeper at work that made her break up with me, I was wrong.
It was true. It was really her genuine wish to end things with us so she could focus on her career.
It didn’t matter how I felt.
And, it doesn’t matter how I feel now.I guess then that I most of all don’t want to admit that I’m shit scared of what six months of helping Quinn Cambray will do to me.
“I know I look like an ungrateful prick right now.That’s life changing money she left me, Ethan.The total value is serious money I’d have to work a few lifetimes to earn.And she left Dad and Avery money too.She didn’t have to do that.”
Sure, she was married to Uncle Barry, but he’d died over fifteen years ago and Lilly had built a life for herself.The ranch was his and he left everything to her when he died.It was the main source of her income so she could enjoy teaching without any stress.
The only person I expected Lilly to leave her belongings to was Quinn, even if Quinn thought the house should go to me.
“Please tell me you will do this.You’re not gonna get a million dollars from somewhere else.Plus the house and the land, with the school.You do know just those are worth a fuck load of money, potentially another three million which you get to split.Lilly left you a fortune, Logan.” He holds up his hands.
My heart is racing in my chest from the angst.
“I know that. It’s just…” I grit my teeth.
“What? Looks to me like there’s a different problem here you’re not talking about.”
“Because I don’t want to talk about it.I don’t.”
This kind of shit shouldn’t be happening to me and it’s the one reason why I never give any woman power over me.
“Are you sure you shouldn’t? I’m the guy with the listening ear.And I think out of our friends I get the whole losing a girlfriend you loved thing.”
When a flash of pain sparks in his eyes I feel worse.He’s talking like our situations are similar but they can’t be because the girlfriend he’s talking about died.Amelia had a rare disease that took her from him.My worries over Quinn are nothing when I think of what Ethan went through with Amelia.
“It’s not the same thing Ethan.It wouldn’t even be appropriate for me to classify it as such.”
“I know, there are major differences but enough similarities for us to talk if you want to.We both got burned by love, bro.It doesn’t matter how we got scorched, we did.At least with my girl, I knew there was going to be an end date, but you looked like you wanted to be seriously serious with Quinn.”
Seriously serious…
That’s a good way to put it since I was so serious about my relationship with Quinn that I was planning on giving her my name.
“I was,” I barely get the words out.
That whole year I saved up to buy her a ring…
I didn’t tell anybody what I was planning because I knew it was crazy.Her father already warned me away once before and it was fucking insane to think I could just take the man’s daughter, marry her, and escape unscathed.Hell no, and definitely not when I knew deep down what the guy was truly like.Providing that my suspicions were right, which I think given recent events that I was completely correct.
But I was going to do it.
I was going to marry Quinn. I was so sure she’d say yes if she’d already agreed to live with me.I already knew how I felt about her, so I didn’t see any point in waiting.
I had it all figured out until I didn’t.I was going to take care of her.
Now I’m just glad no one knew my plans because I would have looked like the stupid jarhead who never got the girl.Especially when word traveled that Quinn got hitched to one of the richest men on the planet.
“So… maybe you’re all worked up because you’re not completely over her.”
I won’t confirm or deny it. I just won’t say shit about it one way or the other.
