Page 51 of Sins or Secrets
"Is she?"
"Yes. She’s at Lilly’s though, and I don’t really think the place is suitable to live in.”
Dad temples his fingers. “Maybe she wants to feel close to Lilly.”
“Must be that.”
“I’ve never really spoken about her father over the years, but it can’t be an easy task especially being back here to be that man’s daughter.Back in the day he liked to pretend he was nice as pie but I knew deep down it was just a mask.Anybody who behaves that way, you know shifty, is always hiding something.That family was always riddled with secrets.”
Something about the way he says that piques my interest and it makes me think Dad might know a thing or two about those secrets.
He’s always been a quiet man though, minding his own business and keeping his head above water so he can stay out of trouble.
That’s my father. The good accountant.
“It’s good you can put the past behind you.Maybe that’s what we both need.At least it provides some closure,” he adds.
“Yeah, “ I agree. Although I don’t feel like I have closure.
Closure means there’s some ending, a finality, a resolution but I can’t help but feel that all the doors haven’t been closed justyet.
* * *
It’s late when I get home so I don’t expect to see Monica sitting on my porch waiting for me wearing a skimpy negligee, painted on her body,and her hair floating in the wind like she’s posing for aphotoshoot.
The look with the wind and the whole outfit screams fuck me, and I’m sure that was thepurpose.It’s certainly written in her eyes as she floats over to nibble on the edge of my neck when I come up thesteps.
“My pussy misses your cock. I want to fuck you,” shecoos.
Instead of my cock hardening like it always does for her, I feelnothing.Any of my friends would think I’ve lost my damnmind.
And they’d definitely think I was crazy if they saw what I was about to donext.
“Monica, nottonight.”
She steps back and purses her lips together.“Why not tonight?”
Fucking hell, this is exactly what I didn’t want to happen.Her questioning me once again alludes to the fact that she wants more, and I'm reminded I can’t give hermore.
“Look Monica, it looks to me like you’re getting the wrong idea about what weare.I thought you knew we were just fuckingaround.”
“To be fucking around, there would need to befucking.It’s because of her isn’tit.The pampered princess. She’s back and you’re screwing around with her.”
“Monica, I’m not screwing with anybody and I’m not going to be an ass and make you think we’re in some kind of exclusive relationship when wearen’t.”
“Clearly. Like I said, it’s because ofher.”
With that she rushes away from me, jumps in her car and speeds away, leaving me standing there staring afterher.
I’m not a relationship guy. I haven’t been sinceQuinn.I’ve crossed that bridge already and I know I don’t want to commit to anyone and invest myself the way I was withQuinn.
I know it’s not healthy to dwell on the past like that, but when you were burned the way I was I think it’sunderstandable.
What’s not understandable is why I can’t screw around with a woman who is just forfun.
I’m not tired, I’m always in the mood for sex so I can’t lie about that, and Monica was hot asfuck.Yet, I turned her down like I had good reasonto.
Like I had someone else on mymind.
