Page 60 of Sins or Secrets
I’m like a fucking teenage boy with his hormones all over the place.But it feels good to jack off to the thought of her.No matter how brief the kiss was or the way I touched her.It was her. Tonight I was actually holding her, kissing her, and exploring her.And she didn’t belong to anybody else.
What does make me blow my load is the echo of the way she moaned in my mind.That moan came from thepure pleasure I gave her.
Pleasure she needed from me. I wasn’t the stupid jarhead.I was just Logan Savage and Quinn Cambray wanted me.
When my breathing calms and the last pearly drop of cum falls from my dick, I know I’ve gone deeper down the rabbit hole and I also know the rebel inside me won’t want to turn back.
He’ll keep going, and going and going until the fire burns and even then he’ll still keep going.
Because, the concept of getting burned if you play with fire has always been lost on me.
I can tell myself whatever the fuck I want.In the end I know I’m a lost cause when it comes to that girl, woman.
And, even if wanting her is poison to me, I’m fucking glad she’s back in town.
* * *
As I sit at my desk the next day, I contemplate what I’m going to do when I next see Quinn and realistically what I’m going to do for the next five and half months.
Months. Not weeks and not even days.
I have months of her and the way that contract was written forbids me from avoiding her like I admittedly have been over the last two weeks.
I was tracking Billy like I was supposed to, opting for keeping an eye on him rather than confronting him which became out of the question when I did at the convenience store.But, my damn mind was on Quinn.
Two days ago when I went to the house I was just touching base and I thought I would be fine when she didn’t really talk to me.I spotted her in the kitchen with Bree that morning and the stir of need in my gut wanted me to go in that kitchen and reacquaint myself with her.It was reality that made me focus on my work.Then I all but rejoiced yesterday when she skipped out in those clothes and that tray of food she’d prepared with her offer of help.
I’ve been sitting here now for most of the morning staring at the screen of my computer, attempting to answer my emails.I have over a hundred, most of it is shit people are trying to sell me.The rest is actual work. I have successfully managed to respond to a total of one.
I wince and rest my head against the leather back of my chair, deciding to take a break.
I close my eyes and there she is.The memory of what I wanted last night drifts into my mind and when I open my eyes there she is standing before me.
Except she’s real. Not a figment of my imagination or a memory.She’s actually here to see me.
She looks worried and I think I know exactly what she’s here to say.It’s written in her eyes.
I’ll bet she wants to say something along the lines of being sorry for the weirdness of yesterday and the kiss shouldn’t have happened.She’ll probably want to say too that we should focus on what we’re supposed to do with Lilly’s house and refurbishing the dance school, and whatever the fuck else we’re supposed to be focusedon.
It’s just that if she had any hope of me listening or paying attention, she shouldn’t have worn that little bluedress.
Chapter 19
Quinn
Iknew what I was going to say when I walked in.
I had it all rehearsed from last night and had it set in my mind.
I was going to apologize for yesterday and complicating things.I was going to say the kiss must have happened because we were close and old feelings probably resurfaced and we should focus.
However, as I stare back at Logan and take in the way he’s looking at me, none of those excuses come to my mind.
I have to remember how to talk, and why I’m here and when I remember why I’m here I realize I don’t want to be here for that reason.
How am I supposed to tell him the kiss won’t happen again or it was a mistake when those are both lies.I’m so tired of being the liar.
Why can’t I just live the truth for once?
