Page 75 of Sins or Secrets
Please make sure she knows she’s loved.
Thanks Lilly.
All my love,
Heather.
Tears stream down my cheeks again as I read those words.
There were over a hundred letters in that case.All from Heather, my mother, to Lilly.
This one was the last one she wrote and it was the one that gripped me the most.There was so much pain and love laced in her words that I could feel them.I could imagine how she must have felt.
My imagination is enhanced with the vision of her, because I remember the day she spoke of in the letter and I remember her.
She had soft brown hair and bright blue eyes just like me.A heart shaped face with the beauty of an angel and a warm smile that felt homely.
I was sixteen when I last saw her.Lilly and I were in the dance studio going over the choreography for my audition for Juilliard.We’d just started it when there was a knock on the door and then I saw her.Heather. Only I wasn’t given her name.I was never given a name. I’d seen her a few times before and Lilly called her one of her former students.She said she used to teach her.
My first memory of Heather was when I was about five years old.I remember how happy she was to see me.Then as the years went by I saw her in person three more times.The last was the time she referred to in the letter.
Every time I saw her that happiness was what got my attention the most.It’s strange to see someone look so happy to see you and you don’t even know who they are.
The last time though she cried.That meeting was a mixture of emotion, especially when I told her I wanted to go to Juilliard.That was when tears filled her eyes and even though she looked so proud, there was something sad in her eyes that didn’t match her words.
Now I know why. It was because that last time was goodbye.
I haven’t slept since Mr. Mulligan gave me the case.I was like a ghost in the house alternating between reading the letters and walking the halls thinking.
Now I’m here.
Outside my old house sitting on the front lawn with this letter in my hands.
It’s like I’ve been in some kind of daze since learning the truth and it took me here a little over an hour ago.
I’m not sure why I’m here. What took place that night I was last on the grounds of this house was enough to keep me away for life.
It was sold the same year we left, but now it stands empty with a for sale sign posted on the opposite end of the lawn.The place looks hardly any different.It’s a mansion with endless land around it.It looks like someone must tend to the grounds because it’s still in pristine condition with everything immaculate and micro managed.From the glossy windows on the house to the shape of the hedges going around it, and neatly cut grass.
Maybe I’m here because this was the place where everything changed.
My world changed and the players who stood in this house took their roles that shaped my path in some kind of way.
There was Dad, the devil. Lilly, the enabler.I know it’s not fair to call her that but that's what she was.She was doing what she had to do to protect and keep certain people safe but she enabled everything by keeping all the secrets and sins.
She said it herself in her letter.
Then there was Mom.
The watcher.
She watched and did nothing. All she did was look on while Dad issued my sentence and his threats to Lilly.
Lilly was to never come near us again.She was to have no contact with me.She was to forget we existed and make sure she didn’t open her mouth to tell anybody what was happening.
She wasn’t supposed to say anything about my pregnancy or else…
That’s as far as Dad got then he turned on me, shoving me so hard against the wall I thought I was going to die.
