Page 81 of Sins or Secrets
“Me. I wasn’t who I thought I was.They’re from my mother.”
I don’t know what she’s talking about.“You’re mom wrote to you?” She must be mistaken because that woman is not the kind that would write to anybody,unless if she was making a complaint about some dumb shit like her hair was flipped the wrong way, or her nails weren’t glossy enough.But even if she had a complaint she’d probably get one of her many servants to write it for her.
“That’s nice of her,” I offer, even though I really don’t think so.Kaitlyn Cambray, probably got one of her minions to write her letters for her too.So many letters though? “Maybe she’s worried about you.Is she still in L.A?”
“Not that woman. The letters are from my real mother,” Quinn answers and my eyes widen.
“What do you mean, your real mother?”
“My real mother.” A tear tracks down her cheek and she straightens then wobbles.When she looks back at me it’s with a soulless expression.“There are so many things to know about me.Where do I start? With my sins or my secrets?The thing is they’re the same thing.I’m a liar. But maybe that’s because I grew up around lies.Secrets, sins, lies. All one and the same.”
I cover her tiny delicate hands with mine and stare at her deeply, knowing I can’t leave her like this.
“Talk to me Quinn.”
“Talk to you? What should I tell you first?How I had nobody to help me when I needed help so badly and the people around me just dug a hole for me to lie in?Or how I lied to you and I wished you didn’t believe me.”
“What are you talking about? When did you lie to me?” I hold her gaze.
“Every day for the last ten years, and it started with that night I told you we couldn’t go to New York together.”
The rug of reality feels like it’s being pulled from beneath my feet.
I’m listening but it’s like I knew this.I knew and I didn’t want to believe it because I didn’t want to hope I could be right.If I was right then it would have meant that I did nothing to fight for what I wanted.
“Why? Why Quinn? Why did you lie?Why would you do something like –” The answer cuts through my mind like a hot knife slicing through butter.
Her father.
“My father found out I was pregnant and he threatened to kill you if I didn’t break up with you.” Her shoulders start to shake, and it feels like the walls around me are caving in,but that’s the walls inside my heart.
She was pregnant? Quinn was having my baby?
What?
"What are you saying to me?" My voice shakes.
“He arranged for me to marry Riley, and marriage to me was a billion-dollar business transaction he couldn’t afford to lose.Dad told me to make sure you didn’t follow me, or he’d kill you and run your family’s business into the ground.”She’s grasping so tight onto the edge of her pants that her knuckles pale.“He told me he’d kill you and I knew he would.I knew because I think he did it before.I couldn’t take that risk. So I destroyed us.”
All I can do is look at her because I can’t process the words coming out of her mouth.
I can’t do it.
And where’s my baby?
I need to know what happened.
"What happened to my baby, Quinn?"
She dabs at her eyes, but more tears come.
“When we went to L.A I met Riley for the firsttime.Then he showed mehis true colors whenI caught him sleeping with themaid.I jumped in my car and ... I wasspeeding.God, I was speeding, and I didn’t have a seatbelton. I just wanted to get away, escape.When a drunk driver crashed into me I suffered the most damage and... I lost the baby. It was my fault. Logan,I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. How could I do that?It's my fault the baby died.”
That’s when she breaks, and I break too.
When she starts crying it sounds like her soul weeping and all I can do is hold her.
Quinn
